with me as it was with Joseph's brethren: the guilt of their own wickedness did often fill them with fears that their brother would at last despise them. (Gen. 1. 15–17.)
218. Yet above all the scriptures that I yet did meet with, that in Joshua xx. was the greatest comfort to me, which speaks of the slayer that was to flee for refuge: And if the avenger of blood pursue the slayer, then, saith Moses, they that are the elders of the city of refuge shall not deliver him into his hands, because he smote his neighbour unwittingly, and hated him not aforetime. Oh, blessed be God for this word! I was convinced that I was the slayer; and that the avenger of blood pursued me, I felt with great terror: only now it remained that I inquire whether I had a right to enter the city of refuge. So I found that he must not who lay in wait to shed blood. It was not the wilful murderer, but he who unwittingly did it—he who did it unawares; not out of spite, or grudge, or malice—he that shed it unwittingly, even he who did not hate his neighbour before. Wherefore—
219. I thought verily I was the man that must enter, because I had smitten my neighbour unwittingly, and hated him not aforetime. I hated him not aforetime; no, I prayed unto him, was tender of sinning against him—yea, and against this wicked temptation I had strove for twelve months before; yea, and also when it did pass through my heart, it did in spite of my teeth. Wherefore I thought I had a right to enter this city, and the elders, which are the apostles, were not to, deliver me up. This, therefore, was great comfort to me, and gave me much ground of hope.
220. Yet being very critical—for my smart had made that I knew not what ground was sure enough to bear me—I had one question that my soul did much desire to be resolved about and that was, "Whether it be possible for any soul that hath sinned the unpardonable sin, yet after that to receive though but the least true spiritual comfort
