Page:The Pocket Magazine (Volume 1, 1827).djvu/197

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THE PIE.
185

come to no harm. In the course of a short time afterwards, Mr. Herbst, a lawyer, entered.

‘Your neighbour, the tailor, has been with me just now,’ he cried, ‘and has been consulting me with a view to taking legal proceedings against you; and I am come for the purpose of seeing whether I can arrange matters amicably between you.’

‘How is it possible to arrange matters amicably, or otherwise, with a man who is decidedly out of his senses?’

‘Well, indeed, I have perceived no signs of insanity,’ said the lawyer; ‘and, on the contrary, I must confess that the complaint he makes against you has very much surprised me. My friendship for you makes me say that it would give me great pain if the trick you have played him should be made public.’

‘Why, really, my dear Herbst,’ said the pastor, ‘you puzzle me as much as my neighbour has done. All the notions I have hitherto entertained of justice and decency must have been mistaken. You think seriously that what has passed between Mr. Heftelmeyer and me will furnish sufficient grounds for a formal complaint?’

‘Certainly; how can I think otherwise? Either what you have done was in jest, which, under the circumstances of disagreement which subsist between you and Mr. Heftelmeyer, would be looked upon as a very unwise and unjustifiable liberty, or else it is a downright theft.’

‘A theft—’

‘Don’t be angry—I know you are incapable of such an act; and, besides, your subsequent conduct shows—’

‘Do give me leave.—I will prove to you, in two words, that Heftelmeyer is unquestionably mad, and that he has represented things to you most absurdly false. This is the fact. All this disturbance arises from a contemptible piece of a pie, which I sent as a mark of civility to his wife, who is lying-in; and out of this, by some means or other, you make a theft, and an impropriety of behaviour.’