Page:The Portrait of a Lady (1882).djvu/181

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THE PORTRAIT OF A LADY.
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THE PORTRAIT OF A LADY. 173 his father sadly. But I should never presume to condole with Mr. Ealph ; we are not on those terms." Madame Merle had alluded more than once to some undefined incongruity in her relations with Ralph Touchett; so Isabel took this occasion of asking her if they were not good friends. " Perfectly } but he doesn't like me." " What have you done to him ? " " Nothing whatever. But one has no need of a reason for that." " For not liking you 1 I think one has need of a very good reason." " You are very kind. Be sure you have one ready for the day when you begin." "Begin to dislike you? I shall never begin." " I hope not ; because if you do, you will never end. That is the way with your cousin; he doesn't get over it. It's an antipathy of nature if I can call it that when it is all on his side. I have nothing whatever against him, and don't bear him .the least little grudge for not doing me justice. Justice is all I want. However, one feels that he is a gentleman, and would never say anything underhand about One. Cartes sur table" Madame Merle subjoined in a moment, " I am. not afraid of him." " I hope not, indeed," said Isabel, who added something about his being the kindest fellow living. She remembered, however, that on her first asking him about Madame Merle he had answered her in a manner which this lady might have thought injurious without being explicit. There was something between them, Isabel said to herself, but she said nothing more than this. If it were something of importance, it should inspire respect ; if it were not, it was not worth her curiosity. With all her love of knowledge, Isabel had a natural shrinking from raising curtains and looking into unlighted corners. The love of knowledge co-existed in her mind with a still tender love of igorance. But Madame Merle sometimes said things that startled her, made her raise her clear eyebrows at the time, and think of the words afterwards. " I would give a great deal to be your age again," she broke out once, with a bitterness which, though diluted in her cus- tomary smile, was by no means disguised by it. " If I could only begin again if I could have my life before me ! " " Your life is before you yet," Isabel answered gently, for she was vaguely awe-struck.