Page:The Portrait of a Lady (1882).djvu/304

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THE PORTRAIT OF A LADY.
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296 THE POETKAIT OF A LADY. his being so charming. Ealph was so charming that her sense of his being ill had hitherto had a sort of comfort in it; the state of his health had seemed not a limitation, but a kind of intellectual advantage ; it absolved him from all professional and official emotions and left him the luxury of being simply- personal. This personality of Ealph's was delightful ; it had none of the staleness of disease ; it was always easy and fresh and genial. Such had been the girl's impression of her cousin ; and when she had pitied him it was only on reflection. As she reflected a good deal she had given him a certain amount of compassion; but Isabel always had a dread of wasting compassion a precious article, worth more to the giver than to any one else. Now, however, it took no great ingenuity to discover that poor Ralph's tenure of life was less elastic than it should be. He was a dear, bright, generous fellow ; he had all the illumination of wisdom and none of its pedantry, and yet he was dying. Isabel said to herself that life was certainly hard for some people, and she felt a delicate glow of shame as she thought how easy it now promised to become for herself. She was prepared to learn that Ralph was not pleased with her engagement ; but she was not pre- pared, in spite of her affection for her cousin, to let this fact spoil the situation. She was not even prepared or so she thought to resent his want of sympathy ; for it would be his privilege it would be indeed his natural line to find fault with any step she might take toward marriage. One's cousin always pretended to hate one's husband ; that was traditional, classical ; it was a part of one's cousin's always pretending to adore one. Ralph was nothing if not critical ; and though she would certainly, other things being equal, have been as glad to marry to please Ralph as to please any one, it would be absurd to think it important that her choice should square with his views. What were his views, after alii He had pretended to think she had better marry Lord Warburton ; but this was only because she had re- fused that excellent man. If she had accepted him Ralph would certainly have taken another tone ; he always took the opposite one. You could criticise any marriage ; it was the essence of a marriage to be open to criticism. How well she herself, if she would only give her mind to it, might criticise this union of her own ! She had other employment, however, and Ralph was welcome to relieve her of the care. Isabel was prepared to be wonderfully good-humoured. He must have seen that, and this made it the more odd that he should say nothing. After three days had elapsed without his speaking, Isabel became impatient ; dislike it as he would