Page:The Portrait of a Lady (1882).djvu/413

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405
THE PORTRAIT OF A LADY.
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THE PORTRAIT OF A LADY. 405 He had not yet formally forbidden her to go and see Ralph; "but she felt sure that unless Ralph should very soon depart this prohibition would come. How could poor Ralph depart? The weather as yet made it impossible. She could perfectly under- stand her husband's wish for the event; to be just, she didn't see how he could like her to be with her cousin. Ralph never said a word against him ; but Osmond's objections were none the less founded. If Osmond should positively interpose, then she should have to decide, and that would not be easy. The prospect made her heart beat and her cheeks burn, as I say, in advance ; there were moments when, in her wish to avoid an open rupture with her husband, she found herself wishing that Ralph would start even at a risk. And it was of no use that when catching herself in this state of mind, she called herself a feeble spirit, a coward. It was not that she loved Ralph less, but that almost anything seemed preferable to repudiating the most serious act the single sacred act of her life. That appeared to make the whole future hideous. To break with Osmond once would be to break for ever ; any open acknowledgment of irreconcilable needs would be an admission that their whole attempt had proved a failure. For them there could be no condonement, no compromise, no easy forgetfulness, no formal readjustment. They had attempted only one thing, but that one thing was to have been exquisite. Qnce they missed it, nothing else would do ; there is no substitute for th&t success. For the moment, Isabel went to the Hotel de Paris as often as she thought well ; the measure of expediency resided in her moral consciousness. It had been very liberal to-day, for in addition to the general truth that she couldn't leave Ralph to die alone, she had something important to ask of him. This indeed was Gilbert's business as well as her own. She came very soon to what she wished to speak of. " I want you to answer me a question," she said. " It's about Lord Warburton." " I think I know it," Ralph answered from his arm-chair, out of which his thin legs protruded at greater length than ever. " It's very possible," said Isabel. u Please then answer it." " Oh, I don't say I can do that." " You are intimate with him," said Isabel ; " you have a great deal of observation of him." " Very true. But think how he must dissimulate ! " " Why should he dissimulate 1 That's not his nature." " Ah, you must remember that the circumstances are pecu- liar," said Ralph, with an air of private amusement.