THE PICKWICK CLUB. 97
Old Wardle opened the door; and the whole three walked into the room just as Mr. Jinj,^lts who had that moment returned, had produced the licence to the spinster aunt.
The spinster uttered a loud shriek, and, throwing herself in a chair, covered her face with her hands. Mr. Jing^le crumpled up the licence, and thrust it into his coat-pocket. The unwelcome visiters advanced into the middle of the room.
" You — you are a nice rascal, ar'n't you ? " exclaimed Wardle, breath- less with passion.
" My dear Sir, my dear Sir," said the little man, laying his hat on the table. " Pray, consider — pray. Scandnlum magnatum, defama- tion of character, action for damages. Calm yourself, my dear Sir,
pray—"
'* How dare you drag my sister from my house? " said the old man.
" Ay — ay — very good," said the little gentleman, " you may ask that. How dare you. Sir? — eh. Sir?"
- WTio the devil are you ? " inquired Mr. Jingle, in so fierce a tone,
that the little gentleman involuntarily fell back a step or two.
- Who is he, you scoundrel," interposed Wardle. " He's my lawyer,
Mr. Perker, of Gray's inn. Perker, I'll have this fellow prosecuted — indicted — I'll — I'll— damme, I'll ruin him. And you," continued Mr. Wardle turning abruptly round to his sister, ** you Uachael, at a time of life when you ought to know better, what do you mean by running ai»-ay with a vagabond, disgracing your family, and making yourself miserable. Get on your bonnet, and come back. Call a hackney-coach there, directly, and bring this lady's bill, d'ye hear — d'ye hear ? "
- ' Cert'nly, Sir," replied Sam, who had answered Wardle's violent
ringing of the bell with a degree of celerity, which must have appeared marvellous to any body who didn't know that his eye had been applied to the outside of the key-hole during the whole interview.
'* Get on your bonnet," repeated Wardle.
- ' Do nothing of the kind," said Jingle. " Leave the room, Sir — no
business here — lady's free to act as she pleases — more than one-and- twenty."
- ' More than one-and twenty I " ejaculated Wardle, contemptuousl}-.
- ' More than one and-forty I "
'* I a'nt," said the spinster aunt, her indignation getting the better of her determination to faint.
" You are," replied Wardle, " you're fifty if you're an hour."
Here the spinster aunt uttered a loud shriek, and became senseless.
- ' A glass of water," said the humane Mr. Pickwick, summoning the
landlady.
- ' A glass of water ! " said the passionate Wardle. " Bring a bucket,
and throw it all over her ; it'll do her good, and she richly deserves it.*'
- • Ugh, you brute ! " ejaculated the kind-hearted landlady. " Poor
dear." And with sundry ejaculations, of " Come now, there's a dear — drink a little of this — it'll do you good — don't give way so — there's a love," &c. &c. the landlady, assisted by a chambermaid, proceeded to vinegar the forehead, beat the hands, titillate the nose, and unlace thi-
