844 POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF
Weller, *' is, that there ain*t no callin' names in it, — no Wenuses, nor nothin' o' that kind ; wot's the good o* callin' a young 'ooman a Wenus or a angel, Sammy?"
" Ah! what, indeed?" replied Sam.
'< You might jist as veil call her a griffin, or a unicorn, or a king's arms at once, which is wery veil known to be a col-lection o* fabulous animals," added Mr. Weller.
" Just as well," replied Sam.
" Drive on, Sammy," said Mr. Weller.
Sam complied with the request, and proceeded as follows ; his father continuing to smoke, with a mixed expression of wisdom and compla- cency, which was particularly edifying.
" ' Afore I see you I thought all women was alike.' " JL
" So they are," observed the elder Mr. Weller, parenthetically. m
" * But now,' continued Sam, ' now I find what a reg'lar soft-headed, ink-red'lous turnip I must ha' been for there ain't nobody like you though /like you better than nothin' at all.' I thought it best to make that rayther strong," said Sam, looking up.
Mr. Weller nodded approvingly, and Sam resumed.
" ' So I take the privilidgeof the day, Mary, my dear — as the gen'lem'n in difficulties did, ven he valked out of a Sunday, — to tell you that the first and only time I see you your likeness was took on my hart in much quicker time and brighter colours than ever a likeness was took by the profeel macheen (wich p'r'aps you may have heerd on Mary my dear) altho it does finish a portrait and put the frame and glass on complete with a hook at the end to hang it up by and all in two minutes and a quarter.' "
" I am afeerd that werges on the poetical, Sammy," said Mr. Weller, dubiously.
" No it don't," replied Sam, reading on very quickly, to avoid con- testing the point.
* Except of me Mary my dear as your walentine and think over what I've said. — My dear Mary I will now conclude.' That's all," said Sam.
" That's rayther a sudden pull up, ain't it, Sammy?" inquired Mr. Weller.
" Not a bit on it," said Sam ; *^ shellvish there wos more, and that's the great art o' letter writin'."
" Well," said Mr. Weller, " there's somethin' in that ; and I wish your mother-in-law 'ud only conduct her conwersation on the same gen-teel principle. Ain't you a goin' to sign it ?"
- ' That's the difficulty," said Sam ; " I don't know what to sign it."
" Sign it — Veller," said the oldest surviving proprietor of that name.
" Won't do," said Sam. " Never sign a walentine with your own name." lj
- ' Sign it ' Pickvick,' then," said Mr. Weller ; " it's a wery gooflt
name, and a easy one to spell."
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