652 POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF
falsehood, perjury, treachery, and cant," said Slurk, handing the paper to Bob, " you will, perhaps, be somewhat repaid by a laugh at the style of this ungrammatical twaddler."
'* What's that you said. Sir?" inquired Pott, looking up, trembling all over with passion.
What's that to you, Sir ? " replied Slurk.
" Ungrammatical twaddler, was it, Sir ?" said Pott.
" Yes, Sir, it was," replied Slurk; and blue bore, Sir, if you like that better; ha! ha!
Mr. Pott retorted not a word to this jocose insult, but deliberately folding up his copy of the Independent, flattened it carefully down, crushed it beneath his boot, spat upon^ it with great ceremony, and flung it into the fire.
" There, Sir," said Pott, retreating from the stove, " and that's the way I would serve the viper who produces it, if I were not, fortunately for him, restrained by the laws of my country."
- ' Serve him so. Sir !" cried Slurk, starting up : " those laws shnll
never be appealed to by him, Sir, in such a case. Serve him so. Sir !'*
" Hear ! hear ! said Bob Sawyer.
- ' Nothing can be fairer," observed Mr. Ben Allen.
- ' Serve him so. Sir ! " reiterated Slurk, in a loud voice.
Mr. Pott darted a look of contempt, which might have withered an anchor.
" Serve him so. Sir !" reiterated Slurk, in a louder voice than before.
- ' I will not, Sir ;" rejoined Pott.
" Oh, you won't ! , won't you. Sir?" said Mr. Slurk, in a taunting manner ; " you hear this, gentlemen ! He won't ; not that he's afraid ; oh , no ! he wonH, Ha ! ha ! "
" I consider you. Sir," said Mr. Pott, moved by this sarcasm, " I consider you a viper. I look upon. Sir, you as a man who has placed himself beyond the pale of society, by his most audacious, disgraceful, and abominable public conduct. I view you. Sir, personally or po- litically, in no other light but as a most unparalleled and unmiti- gated viper.
The indignant Independent did not wait to hear the end of this personal denunciation, for, catching up his carpet-bag, which was well stuffed with moveables, he swung it in the air as Pott turned away, and letting it fall with a circular sweep on his head just at that particular angle of the bag where a good thick hair-brush happened to be packed, caused a sharp crash to be heard throughout the kitchen, and brought him at once to the ground.
" Gentlemen," cried Mr. Pickwick, as Pott started up and seized the fire-shovel, " gentlemen, consider for Heaven's sake — help — Sam — here — pray, gentlemen — interfere, somebody."
Uttering these incoherent exclamations, Mr. Pickwick rushed between the infuriated combatants just in time to receive the carpet bag on one side of his body, and the fire-shovel on the other ; whether the representatives of the public feeling of Eatanswill were blinded by animosity, or, being both acute reasoners, saw the advantage of having a third party between them to bear all the blows, certain it is
