576 POSTHUMOUS PAPERS OF
instance to pay me the compliment of asking whether I would have any objection to their being married in the usual matter-of-fact manner. There now, Mr. Pickwick, if you can make it convenient to reduce your eyes to their usual size again, and to let me hear what you think we ought to do, I shall feel rather obliged to you."
The testy manner in which the hearty old gentleman uttered this last sentence was not wholly unwarranted; for iVIr. Pickwick's face had settled down into an expression of blank amazement and perplexity quite curious to behold.
'^ Snodgrass I — since last Christmas!" were the first broken words that issued from the lips of the confounded gentleman.
" Since last Christmas," replied Wardle; "that's plain enough, and very bad spectacles we must have worn, not to have discovered it before."
" I don't understand it," said Mr. Pickwick, ruminating ; " I really cannot understand it."
It's easy enough to understand," replied the choleric old gentle- man. " If you had been a younger man, you would have been in the secret long ago ; and besides," added Wardle after a moment's hesita- tion, the truth is, that, knowing nothing of this matter, I have rather pressed Emily for four or five months past to receive favourably (if she could; I would never attempt to force a girl's inclinations) the addresses of a young gentleman down in our neighbourhood. I have no doubt that, girl-like, to enhance her own value and increase the ardour of Mr. Snodgrass, she has represented this matter in very glowing colours, and that they have both arrived at the conclusion that they are a terri- bly persecuted pair of unfortunates, and have no resource but clandes- tine matrimony or charcoal. Now the question is, what's to be done.'*"
'^ What have you done t " enquired Mr. Pickwick.
" I !"
" I mean what did you do when your married daughter told you this.?"
- ' Oh, I made a fool of myself of course," rejoined Wardle.
" Just so," interposed Perker, who had accompanied this dialogue with sundry twitchings of his watch-chain, vindictive rubbings of his nose, and other symptoms of impatience. " That's very natural ; but how ? "
^' I went into a great passion and frightened my mother into a fit," said Wardle.
'^ That was judicious," remarked Perker; "and what else, my dear Sir?"
" I fretted and fumed all next day, and raised a great disturbance," rejoined the old gentleman. " At last 1 got tired of rendering myself unpleasant and making everybody miserable; so I hired a carriage at Muggleton, and, putting my own horses in it, came up to town, under pretence of bringing Emilv to see Arabella."
" Miss Wardle is with you, then ? " said Mr. Pickwick.
" To be sure she is," replied Wardle. " She is at Osborne's hotel in the Adelphi at this moment, unless your enterprising friend has run away with her since 1 came out this morning."
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