You understand in too narrow a sense the words of the Gospel, "Leave thy father and mother and wife and children and follow me." Concerning the meaning of these words -principally as to how one should solve those collisions and contradictions which occur between family ties and the demands of Jesus, i.e., of truth -I think that the solution cannot come from outside, from rules of precepts, but that each man must solve them according to his powers. The ideal, of course, remains the same, and is expressed by Jesus: -"Leave thy wife and follow me." But the extent to which a man is able to do this is known to himself alone and to God. You ask what "leaving one's wife" means? Does it mean "forsake her," or "cease to sleep with her and have a family?" Certainly, to "leave her," signifies that one should act so that one's wife should be to one not as a wife but as every other woman as a sister. This is the ideal. And this should be accomplished in a way which does not irritate her, 3 is not a stumbling block to her, does not throw her into rancour and temptation. This is very difficult. And every married man striving towards Christian life feels with his heart all the difficulty of healing this wound inflicted by himself. One thing I think and say; and that is, being married, to strive all one's life and with all one's powers to become unmarried without thereby augmenting the sin. *****
The whole point is in abstinence, in the development, education, of abstinence. The moment men find welfare in abstinence, marriages will diminish. ***** 3 The author of course refers to either sex. -Trans
