THE REMINISCENCES OF CARL SCHURZ
ful sunshine. It appeared to me even more beautiful than ever. I felt as if I must take a last leave of it.
“We Prussians will probably have to die in any case.” These words echoed in my ear, and I was convinced of their truth. To these Prussians I belonged. I remember vividly the thoughts which then on that tower of observation went through my head. One recollection forced itself again and again upon my mind, how a few years before my father had, with me, visited Professor Pütz in Cologne; how the professor had put his hand upon my shoulder and smilingly said to my father, “A hopeful boy”; and how proudly then my father had nodded his head and looked at me. “Of that hopeful boy there is now an end,” I said to myself. Many of the bold dreams of a great and fruitful activity which I had formerly cherished recurred to me, and it seemed hard, very hard, to depart from the world before I had been permitted to render it any worthy service. A sensation of profound sorrow came over me, not on account of myself alone, but also on account of my parents who had expected so much of me, to whom I was to be the support of old age, and who now saw all their hopes shattered and destroyed forever. Finally, nothing remained to me but the determination if I was so to end, to look my fate in the eyes with courage and dignity.
I remained on the gallery of the observation tower until the sun was down. Then I descended and reported myself to the governor, to see whether he still had orders for the night. “Tonight,” he said, “every one of my officers ought to be on the ramparts. I apprehend that the men know that we shall surrender to-morrow, and will leave their posts. That should not be.” I was glad to have something to do that would occupy my thoughts. In the fortifications and in the town there was
[ 214 ]
