Page:The Sorcerer.djvu/14

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ME, W. Yes, sir; we practice necromancy in all its branches. "We've a choice assortment of wishing caps, divining rods, amulets, charms, and countercharms. We can cast you a nativity at a low figure, and we have a horoscope at three and six that we can guarantee. Our Abudah chests, each containing a patent Hag, who comes out and prophesies disasters, with spring com- plete, are strongly recommended. Our Aladdin lamps are very chaste, and our Prophetic Tablets, foretelling everything from a change of ministry down to a rise in Turkish stock are much inquired for. Our penny curse one of the cheapest things in the trade is considered infallible. We have some very superior blessings, too, but they're very little asked for. We've only sold one since Christmas to a gentleman who bought it to send to his mother in law but it turned out that he was afflicted in the head, and it's been returned on our hands. But our sale of penny curses, especially on Saturday nights, is tremendous. We can't turn 'em out fast enough. SONG MR. WELLS. Oh, my name is John Wellington Wells, I'm a dealer in magic and spells, In blessings and curses, And ever filled purses, In prophecies, witches, and knells ! If you want a proud foe to "make tracks" If you'd melt a rich uncle in wax You've but to look in On our resident Djinn, Number seventy, Simmery Axe. We've a first class assortment of magic: And for raising a posthumous shade With effects that are comic or tragic, There's no cheaper house in the trade. Love philtre we've quantities of it ! And for knowledge if any one burns, We keep an extremely small prophet Who brings us unbounded returns: Oh, he can prophesy With a wink of his eye: Peep with security Into futurity ; Sum up your history, Clear up a mystery, Humor proclivity For a nativity for a nativity Mirrors so magical, Tetrapods tragical, Bogies spectacular, Answers oracular, Facts astronomical. Solemn or comical, And, if you want it;, he

Makes a reduction on taking a quantity.