Page:The Strand Magazine (Volume 2).djvu/433

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The Queer Side of Things.
435

in the Ear: "'Tis I that have set up these Notices, and you are to know that this Piece of Water in which they are placed is by no means mine, for the which Reason seeing I may hardly venture to set down the Words 'Private Water,' lest some busy Fellow would be challenging the Claim; yet when I say 'Water and Fishing Private,' I do but state the Fact that it is Water, and the Fishing is private, for I have hired it (for no consideration) of the Public, who rightfully own the Water but are too besotted to enforce their Claim. Next Year," continued the worthy old Gentleman, "I propose to stretch a Wire across this Water, and thereafter a stout Chain; so in the Course of Years the Water shall become of right my private Property. In like wise the Words 'Dangerous,' and 'That Way to the Lock,' and 'Beware of the Weir,' are cunningly designed to hinder the vulgar from entering upon that Piece of Water; for you should know that, as there is no Danger, nor any Weir, so, also, either Way conducts to the Lock."


"Dangerous."
Delighting me with such pleasing Converse, as to which I was at a Loss, whether the more to admire the ingenious Wisdom, or the Christianlike Kindliness of so worthy a Man, the Proprietor led the Way to the Village of which he appeared to be the Owner—or, I would be saying, rather the Owner of the Villagers; being, as one might say, like to a Slave-owner. And here I could not but observe, with a pleasurable Emotion, how, as the Children ran from him with Affright, so likewise the Dogs snarled at his Approach and hid themselves within Doors.


"The children ran from him with affright."

The good old Man made diligent Inquiries touching a Rumouring that had come to his Ear, how a certain Widow, being poor, had let her Room to a Visitor from London who was for spending a Holiday in the Place and, finding this Rumouring to be true, presently notified her that she should quit her Cottage on the following Week; and also roundly rated a Grocer that would be supplying Provisions to the Intruder, and warned the other Villagers against trafficking with that Grocer on Penalty of great Disfavour.

"For," said the good Man, "I am most keenly set against any Man coming to take Pleasure upon my Scenery, or upon the River by it; insomuch so that I will none of him;" and with that my Friend fell to kicking certain Children that