Page:The Strand Magazine (Volume 5).djvu/209

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208
THE STRAND MAGAZINE.

The Queer Side of Things.

ONE day the Lord Chamberlain rushed into the throne room of the palace, panting with excitement. The aristocracy assembled there crowded round him with intense interest.

"The King has just got a new Idea!" he gasped, with eyes round with admiration. "Such a magnificent Idea!—"

"It is indeed! Marvellous!" said the aristocracy. "By Jove—really the most brilliant Idea we ever———!"

"But you haven't heard the Idea yet," said the Lord Chamberlain. "It's this," and he proceeded to tell them the Idea. They were stricken dumb with reverential admiration; it was some time before they could even coo little murmurs of inarticulate wonder.

"The King has just got a new Idea," cried the Royal footman (who was also reporter to the Press), bursting into the office of The Courtier, the leading aristocratic paper, with earls for compositors, and heirs to baronetcies for devils.

"Has he, indeed? Splendid!" cried the editor. "Here, Jones"—(the Duke of Jones, chief leader-writer)—"just let me have three columns in praise of the of the King's Idea. Enlarge upon the glorious results it will bring about in the direction of national glory, imperial unity, commercial prosperity, individual liberty and morality, domestic———"

"But hadn't I better tell you the Idea?" said the reporter.

"Well, you might do that perhaps," said the editor.

Then the footman went off to the office of the Immovable—the leading paper of the Hangback party, and cried, "The King has got a new Idea!"

"Ha!" said the editor. "Mr. Smith, will you kindly do me a column in support of His Majesty's new Idea?"

"Hum! Well, you see," put in Mr. Smith, the eminent journalist. "How about the new contingent of readers you said you were anxious to net—the readers who are not altogether satisfied with the recent attitude of His Majesty?"

"Oh! ah! I quite forgot," said the editor. "Look here, then, just do me an enigmatical and oracular article that can be read either way."

"Right," replied the eminent journalist.

"By the way, I didn't tell you the Idea," suggested the footman.

"Oh! that doesn't matter but there, you can, if you like, said the editor.

After that the footman sold the news of the Idea to an ordinary reporter, who dealt with the Rushahead and the revolutionary papers; and the reporter rushed