Page:The Strand Magazine (Volume 5).djvu/33

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32
THE STRAND MAGAZINE.

make the discovery that you can be excessively—ahem!—unladylike.

Lady Flo: It's highly amusing to hear you express an opinion on the subject of how a lady should behave. When one remembers your sisters, one is inclined to believe you were not, perhaps, brought up in a school of the very highest standard.

Sir W.: You insult my sisters! (Becomes much excited and takes her by the arm.) Repeat that again!


Jem: "What is the matter?")

(Enter Jem. Stands in amazement.)

Jem: For Heaven's sake, what is the matter?

Sir W.: Ask your Aunt Florence, my dear boy.

Lady Flo: I feel positively ashamed that you should come upon us—upon your uncle, I mean—at a moment when he is behaving like a raving madman!

Jem: A raving madman! My uncle Jem!

Lady Flo: Man-like, you side with a man! (With increasing agitation) I have always known your uncle to be a weak, nerveless—— (Enter Kitty. Looks around, dumfounded.)

Kitty: Dear aunty! I'm frightened! You can't be well! What does this mean?

Lady Flo: Only that your husband inciting mine to be abusive.

Kitty: Impossible!

Lady Flo: Woman-like, you side with a man! Let me tell you that your poor uncle is pitiable in his foolishness this morning.

Sir W.: Florence! Once for all, I assert my authority. Be silent this moment, or I shall feel obliged to ask you to return home.

Lady Flo: Without you?

Sir W.: If that pleases you!

Lady Flo: It would suit me remarkably well.

Sir W.: In that case—"Go!"

Lady Flo: I shall, instantly; and when you desire to come home, I shall give the servants orders not to admit you——

Sir W. (turning to Jem): A man not admitted to his own house! That's rather too good, isn't it, Jem?

Lady Flo: We shall see! (Turns to Kitty) Meanwhile, Kitty, I bid you good-bye.

Kitty: Oh! Aunty! You can't mean that! Pray don't say good-bye!

Lady Flo (dramatically): Yes, I mean "Good-bye"! (Brushes furiously past Sir William, and exit. Kitty makes movement to follow, but returns to Sir William and Jem.)

Sir W. (bitterly): Don't hold her back, Kitty.

Jem. You are mad!

Sir W.: Less mad than you, when an hour ago you told me you found life intolerable with Kitty.

Kitty (moved): He said that? Jem said that to you?

Jem: No, no! (Compunctious.)

Sir W.: Oh! It's an easy matter for two young people to kiss again with tears. 'Twill be a different matter between your aunt and me. Florence will have no chance, however much she may wish it. The time has come