Page:The Surakarta (1913).djvu/336

From Wikisource
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This page has been proofread, but needs to be validated.
314
THE SURAKARTA

I did; and I thought it was—smart. Then when I found out they were only laughing at me, I—couldn't change. People wouldn't let me change. Wherever I went, I found that they already knew about me. Even when I tried to do nice things, no one would believe it. It was horrible! So then I tried to think I did not care. And after that father died, and it seemed he had made you my trustee.

"I had heard of you through him, but I did not know much about you; but very soon I saw that you knew a great deal about me—you knew all the dreadful things that I had done and you tried to check me; you were ashamed for me and with me! And at first it angered me; but afterward—afterward I began to see! It was in your letters, even your short letters that I had tried to force