Australia.
As our readers we presume would be grateful for a truthful account of the land to which we are going, and where they will probably sojourn for a lengthened period, we of our great good nature, condescend to impart to them some interesting particulars concerning that vast island, the knowledge of which may exercise beneficial influence on their future course of life. It is perhaps superfluous to say that our statements may be implicitly relied on. Australia is surrounded by water, and the sun is visible there during the day, when not obscured by clouds. Excellent authority informs us that, luminary is of material service to cooks, enabling them to dispense with the ordinary process of boiling and baking their meals over mere earthly fires. Native animals of various kinds, which may or may not be different from any we have ever seen, abound there: those which are not domesticated roaming about untamed, sustaining life by devouring what they eat. The chief production of the soil are ingenious for what we know or care. The island is as broad as it is long, and contains, as many square miles as its average length multiplied by its average breadth will produce. This great continent of the south, having been discovered by some Dutch skipper and his crew, somewhere between the 1st and 9th centuries of the Christian era, was, in consequence taken possession of by the government of Great Britain, in accordance with that just and equitable maxim, "What’s yours is mine; what's mine is my own." That magnanimous government in the kindly exuberance of their feelings, have placed a large portion of that immense tract of country called Australia at our disposal. Generously defraying all expenses incurred on our way to it, and providing retreats for us there to secure us from the inclemency of the seasons and the carnivorous propensities of the natives, neither through their forethought must we take thought of the morrow as to how we shall clothe ourselves, or as to what we shall eat or drink. The inhabitants of Australia are chiefly convicts and kangaroos. The student in ethnology may not be surprised to learn that the males are all sons of their mothers. Their chief employment is a very fowl occupation: this announcement is official. Their religious ceremonies are performed with a tedium not known elsewhere. The form of government is popular and particularly gives satisfaction to high officers of state who secure themselves ₤1,000 a year for life for obliging the people by enduring the fatigues of office for twelve months. As an evidence of the advanced state of civilization amongst the natives, the consumption of oysters and ale (from which the name of the country is derived) is so enormous, that we smack our lips at the bare idea, and fondly indulge in pleasing anticipations of the part we are destined to play in exterminating the mollusca of those vast seas, and draining the country of its vast potations. Gold was at one time so abundant, that the fair sex wore hair of that precious metal, but now it has become so scarce, that the Australians are reduced to the necessity of using "tin" as their medium of exchange.
Should an eager and intelligent public so far appreciate our labours as to demand a separate publication of this graphic and instructive sketch, our modesty may be so far overcome as to permit us to comply with their wishes; and we shall not only add copious notes, but comply the first actions to illustrate our work.
A Great quantity of our manuscript has been deliberately some careless person having sat on our slates. We have thus lost much valuable matter, for which mishap we intend to stop the grog of our "devil," which we hope will be satisfactory to the public.
We are happy to announce that a series of the popular evening concerts will be resumed on Monday, 11th inst. When an entirely new arrangement of the programme will be adopted.
The beautiful constellation of the Southern Cross is now visible nightly in the south—just above the horizon.
It is rumoured that five misses will be allowed on deck in turn each morning at four o'clock. for the purposes on bathing. We congratulate the public on this very necessary boon.
Wanted, a few critics; none need apply except gentlemen of undisputed talent and experience. Apply at this office.
Wanted, contributions of ice and cigars for use of editors and staff; all of which will be thankfully acknowledged.
Printed and published at the office, No 6 Mess, Intermediate Cabin, Ship "Hougoumont," for the editors, Messrs. John Flood, and J.B. O'Reilly, by J.E.K.
Registered for transmission abroad.
