Maunday Thursday, April 13.
Of the use of time, or of my commendation of myself,
I thought no more; but lost life in restless nights
and broken days, till this week awakened my attention.
This year has passed with very little improvement, perhaps with diminution of knowledge. Much time I have not left; infirmities oppress me. But much remains to be done. I hope to rise at eight, or sooner in the morning.
Good Friday, April 14, 1775.
Boswell came in before I was up. We breakfasted; I
only drank tea, without milk or bread. We went to
church, saw Dr. Wetherel in the pew, and, by his desire,
took him home with us. He did not go very soon,
and Boswell staid. Boswell and I went to church, but
came very late. We then took tea, by Boswell's desire;
and I eat one bunn, I think, that I might not seem
to fast ostentatiously. Boswell sat with me till night;
we had some serious talk. When he went, I gave
Francis some directions for preparation to communicate.
Thus has passed, hitherto, this awful day.
10^o 30´. P. M.
When I look back upon resolutions of improvement
and amendment, which have year after year been made
and broken, either by negligence, forgetfulness, vitious
idleness, casual interruption, or morbid infirmity; when
I find that so much of my life has stolen unprofitably
away, and that I can descry by retrospection scarcely a
few single days properly and vigorously employed; why
do I yet try to resolve again? I try, because reformation
is necessary, and despair is criminal; I try, in
humble hope of the help of God.
As my life has, from my earliest years, been wasted in a