Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 1.djvu/469

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OF DOCTOR SWIFT.
433

such flights drew upon him the general character of an irreligious man: I remember to have heard a story of him, that fully shows how little he regarded certain ceremonies, which ought always to be observed with respect. Soon after he had been made dean of St. Patrick's, he was loitering one Sunday in the afternoon at the house of doctor Raymond, with whom he had dined at Trim (a small town near Laracor) of which the doctor was vicar. The bell had rung, and the people were assembled for evening prayers. Doctor Raymond was preparing to go to the church, which was scarce two hundred yards from his house. 'Raymond,' said the dean, 'I will lay you a crown, I will begin the prayers before you this afternoon.' 'I accept the wager,' replied doctor Raymond; and immediately they both ran as fast as they could toward the church. Raymond, who was the nimbler man of the two, arrived first at the door; and when he entered the church, walked decently toward the reading desk. Swift never slackened his pace, but running up the aisle, left doctor Raymond behind him in the middle of it, and stepping into the reading desk, without putting on a surplice, or opening the Prayerbook, began the liturgy in an audible voice, and continued to repeat the service sufficiently long to win the wager." Now it is very possible that such an adventure might have happened at that time between two clergymen, and nothing more probable than that it would immediately be transferred to Swift and his neighbour. We see it every day practised, that witty sayings, blunders, and things of humour, are constantly fathered upon the most remarkable wit, blunderer, or humourist of the times, whether they belong to them or not.

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