Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 12.djvu/230

From Wikisource
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This page has been proofread, but needs to be validated.
218
LETTERS TO AND FROM

and every man, whose wife has conceived, expects an heir with four legs. It was concluded not long ago, that such confusion could be only brought about by the black art, and by the spells of a notorious scribbling magician[1] who was generally suspected, and was to be recommended to the mercy of the inquisition. Indictments were upon the anvil, a charge of sorcery preparing, and Merlin's friends were afraid, that the exasperated pettifoggers would persuade the jury to bring in billa vera. For they pretended to bring in certain proofs of his appearance in several shapes: at one time a drapier[2]; at another a Wapping surgeon[3]; sometimes a nardack, sometimes a reverend divine. Nay more, that he could raise the dead; that he had brought philosophers, heroes, and poets, in the same caravan from the other world; and after a few questions, had sent them all to play at quadrille in a flying island of his own.

This was the scene not many days ago, and burning was too good for the wizard. But what mutations among the Lilliputians! The greatest lady in the nation resolves to send a pair of shoes without heels to captain Gulliver: she takes vi et armis the plaid from the lady it was sent to, which is soon to appear upon her royal person; and now, who but captain Gulliver? The captain indeed has nothing more to do but to chalk his pumps, learn to dance upon the rope, and I may yet live to see him a bishop. Verily, verily, I believe he never was in such imminent danger of preferment. Sir, your affectionate tar.

FROM