Page:The Works of the Rev. Jonathan Swift, Volume 2.djvu/178

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126
A TALE OF A TUB.

to the truth, but cursing the whole company to Hell, if they pretended to make the least scruple of believing him. One time he swore he had a cow[1] at home, which gave as much milk at a meal, as would fill three thousand churches; and what was yet more extraordinary, would never turn sour. Another time he was telling of an old sign post[2], that belonged to his father, with nails and timber enough in it to build sixteen large men of war. Talking one day of Chinese waggons, which were made so light as to sail over mountains: Z——ds, said Peter, where's the wonder of that? by G, I saw a large house of lime and stone[3], travel over sea and land, (granting that it stopped sometimes to bait) above two thousand German leagues. And that which was the good of it, he would swear desperately all the while, that he never told a lie in his life; and at every word; by G, gentlemen, I tell you nothing but the truth: and the Dl broil them eternally, that will not believe me.

In short, Peter grew so scandalous, that all the neighbourhood began in plain words to say, he was

  1. The ridiculous multiplying of the Virgin Mary's milk among the papists, under the allegory of a cow, which gave as much milk at a meal, as would fill three thousand churches. W. Wotton.
  2. By the sign-post is meant the cross of our Blessed Saviour; and, if all the wood, that is shown for parts of it, was collected, the quantity would sufficiently justify this sarcasm.
  3. The chapel of Loretto. He falls here only upon the ridiculous inventions of popery: the church of Rome intended by these things to gull silly, superstitious people, and rook them of their money; the world had been too long in slavery, our ancestors gloriously redeemed us from that yoke. The church of Rome therefore ought to be exposed, and he deserves well of mankind that does expose it. W. Wotton.
    Ibid. The chapel of Loretto, which travelled from the Holy Land to Italy.
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