Here the Lady took some more whisky and was putting even more to her lips when she dashed it to the Ground, for the Mountain began to grumble—which continued for a few minutes before he thus began—
Ben Nevis.
What whining bit of tongue and Mouth thus dares
Disturb my slumber of a thousand years?
Even so long my sleep has been secure—
And to be so awak'd I 'll not endure.
Oh pain—for since the Eagle's earliest scream
I 've had a damn'd confounded ugly dream,
A Nightmare sure. What! Madam, was it you?
It cannot be! My old eyes are not true!
Red-Crag, my Spectacles! Now let me see!
Good Heavens! Lady, how the gemini
Did you get here? O, I shall split my sides!
I shall earthquake—
Mrs. C.
Sweet Nevis do not quake, for though I love
Your honest Countenance all things above,
Truly I should not like to be convey'd
So far into your Bosom—gentle Maid
Loves not too rough a treatment, gentle Sir—
Pray thee be calm and do not quake nor stir
No, not a Stone, or I shall go in fits—
Ben Nevis.
I must—I shall—I meet not such tit bits—
I meet not such sweet creatures every day—
By my old nightcap night and day
I must have one sweet Buss—I must and shall!
Red Crag!—What! Madam, can you then repent
Of all the toil and vigour you have spent
To see Ben Nevis and to touch his nose?
Red Crag I say! O I must have them close!
Red Crag, there lies beneath my farthest toe
A vein of Sulphur—go, dear Red Crag, go—
And rub your flinty back against it—budge!
Dear Madam, I must kiss you, faith I must!
I must embrace you with my dearest gust!
Block-head, d' ye hear!—Block-head, I 'll make her feel.
There lies beneath my east leg's northern heel
A cave of young earth dragons;—well my boy
Go thither quick and so complete my joy.
Take you a bundle of the largest pines,
And when the sun on fiercest Phosphor shines,
Fire them and ram them in the Dragon's nest,
Then will the dragons fry and fizz their best
Until ten thousand now no bigger than
Poor Alligators—poor things of one span—
Will each one swell to twice ten times the size
Of northern whale—then for the tender prize—
The moment then—for then will Red Crag rub
His flinty back—and I shall kiss and snub
And press my dainty morsel to my breast.
Block-head make haste!
O Muses, weep the rest—
The Lady fainted and he thought her dead;
So pulled the clouds again about his head
And went to sleep again; soon she was rous'd
By her affrighted servants—next day, hous'd
Safe on the lowly ground she bless'd her fate
That fainting fit was not delayed too late.
But what surprised me above all is how the lady got down again. I felt it horribly. 'T was the most vile descent—shook me all to pieces.
Sharing Eve's Apple
Printed by Mr. Forman and assigned to 1818. Mr. Forman does not give his authority, save to say that the verses have been handed about in manuscript.
O blush not so! O blush not so!
Or I shall think you knowing;
And if you smile the blushing while,
Then maidenheads are going.
There 's a blush for won't, and a blush for shan't,
And a blush for having done it:
There 's a blush for thought and a blush for nought,
And a blush for just begun it.
O sigh not so! O sigh not so!
For it sounds of Eve's sweet pippin;
By these loosen'd lips you have tasted the pips
And fought in an amorous nipping.
Will you play once more at nice-cut-core,
For it only will last our youth out,
And we have the prime of the kissing time,
We have not one sweet tooth out.
There 's a sigh for yes, and a sigh for no,
And a sigh for I can't bear it!
O what can be done, shall we stay or run?
O cut the sweet apple and share it!
