Page:The life of Charlotte Brontë (IA lifeofcharlotteb02gaskrich).pdf/39

From Wikisource
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This page has been validated.
A DISAPPOINTMENT.
21

to carry; then there would be some sense in it. Come in black, blue, pink, white, or scarlet, as you like. Come shabby or smart; neither the colour nor the condition signifies; provided only the dress contain E——, all will be right."

But there came the first of a series of disappointments to be borne. One feels how sharp it must have been to have wrung out the following words.

"May 20th.

"Your letter of yesterday did indeed give me a cruel chill of disappointment. I cannot blame you, for I know it was not your fault. I do not altogether exempt ——— from reproach. . . . . This is bitter, but I feel bitter. As to going to B——, I will not go near the place till you have been to Haworth. My respects to all and sundry, accompanied with a large amount of wormwood and gall, from the effusion of which you and your mother are alone excepted.—C. B.

"You are quite at liberty to tell what I think, if you judge proper. Though it is true I may be somewhat unjust, for I am deeply annoyed. I thought I had arranged your visit tolerably comfortable for you this time. I may find it more difficult on another occasion."

I must give one sentence from a letter written about this time, as it shows distinctly the clear strong sense of the writer.

"I was amused by what she says respecting her wish that, when she marries, her husband will, at least, have