Page:The life of Tolstoy.djvu/185

From Wikisource
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This page has been validated.
EXCOMMUNICATION AND ILLNESS
139

During his long illness, when he felt himself near the portals of eternity, hours of quiet thought raised and purified his soul. In a letter to the present biographer he wrote:

“I must say one thing: my illness was a great help to me. Much that was foolish left me when I placed myself sincerely face to face with God, or the All of which I am but a transient particle. I saw much evil in myself, which formerly I did not observe. I felt much relieved afterwards. Generally one should say to one’s beloved, ‘I do not wish you health, but illness.’”

In the autumn of 1902 he returned to Yasnaya Polyana, where he speedily recovered his health and former energy.

On the outbreak of the Russo-Japanese war, he shared the general grief and moral suffering of the best part of the Russian people, and with indignation in his heart he issued his severe “Bethink Yourselves.” But life follows its own unknown laws, and we submit to accomplished facts. The Japanese war came to an end, but the physical and moral tension which it had provoked broke loose in a popular agitation.

True to his conviction that the principal object for man is the understanding of the aim of life, Tolstoy continued his work and published a col-