"But supposing I find Fenelon's God: He will perhaps say to me: 'Much forgiveness will be vouchsafed to thee, inasmuch as thou hast loved much.'
"Have I loved much? Ah! I loved madame de Rênal, but my conduct has been atrocious. In that, as in other cases, simple modest merit was abandoned for the sake of what was brilliant.
"But still, what fine prospects? Colonel of Hussars, if we had had a war: secretary of a legation during peace: then ambassador … for I should soon have picked up politics … and even if I had been an idiot, would the marquis de la Mole's son-in-law have had any rivalry to fear? All my stupidities have been forgiven, or rather, counted as merits. A man of merit, then, and living in the grandest style at Vienna or London.
"Not exactly, monsieur. Guillotined in three days' time."
Julien laughed heartily at this sally of his wit. "As a matter of fact, man has two beings within him, he thought. Who the devil can have thought of such a sinister notion?"
"Well, yes, my friend: guillotined in three days," he answered the interruptor. "M. de Cholin will hire a window and share the expense with the abbé Maslon. Well, which of those two worthy personages will rob the other over the price paid for hiring that window?" The following passage from Rotrou's "Venceslas" suddenly came back into his mind:—
Ladislas
THE KING, father of Ladislas.
L'echafaud l'est aussi: portez-y-votre tête.
"A good repartee" he thought, as he went to sleep. He was awakened in the morning by someone catching hold of him violently.
"What! already," said Julien, opening his haggard eyes. He thought he was already in the executioner's hands.
It was Mathilde. "Luckily, she has not understood me." This reflection restored all his self possession. He found Mathilde as changed as though she had gone through a six months' illness: she was really not recognisable.
"That infamous Frilair has betrayed me," she said to him, wringing her hands. Her fury prevented her from crying.
"Was I not fine when I made my speech yesterday?"
