Page:The woman in battle .djvu/142

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CHAPTER X.

FIRST EXPERIENCES AS A SPY.

Reaction after the Excitements of a Battle.—The Necessity for mental and bodily Occupation.—I form a new Project.—War as we imagine it, and as it is.—Fighting not the only Thing to be done.The Dreams of Youth, and the Realities of Experience.—The Secret of Success.—The Difficulties which the Confederate Commanders experienced in obtaining Information of the Movements of the Enemy.—What a Woman can do that a Man cannot.—A Visit to Mrs. Tyree.—The only Way of keeping a Secret.—I assume the Garments of my own Sex again as a Disguise.—Getting across the Potomac at Night.—Asleep in a Wheat-Stack.—A suspicious Farmer.—A Friend in Need.—Maryland Hospitality.—Off for Washington.

OF too restless and impulsive a disposition to endure patiently the prolonged inaction which seemed inevitable after a battle, it fretted me to be obliged to lounge about camp, or to participate in the too often most demoralizing amusements of the city, as I had been compelled to do for many weeks after the fight at Bull Run. I was disgusted, too, at the difficulties which presented themselves at every step whenever I attempted to get myself attached to a regular command, or to be assigned for the kind of service which I felt best qualified to perform, and which was most in accordance with my tastes. It was an absolute necessity for me to be in motion, to be doing something, and the slow and inconclusive progress of the military movements annoyed me beyond expression. The inevitable reaction, after the intense excitements of the battle of Ball's Bluff, caused a depression of spirits which I felt I must do something to shake off. The terrible sights and sounds of that battle haunted me night and day, for I could not help thinking of them, and the more I thought of them the more horrible they appeared.

I determined, therefore, very shortly after the battle, to put

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