Of Ingratitude.
THERE are not so many Ungrateful men as ’tis generally thought; because there are not so many generous men as we imagine. He that in silence suppresses a favour receiv’d, is an unthankful man, that deserv’d it not. But he that proclaims one that he has done, turns it to an Injury, shewing to your disgrace the necessity you had of him, and the relief he has given you thro’ ostentation. I would have a man of honour somewhat shy of receiving Obligations, and sensible of them when receiv’d : I would have him that obliges, satisfied with the generosity of the Action, and not think of any acknowledgment from the party oblig’d. When a return is expected, it is no longer Liberality; it is a sort of Trade, which the Spirit of Interest would introduce into Favours.
’Tis true, there are some persons whom nature has made ungrateful : Ingratitude is the main ingredient in their composition; with that their Heart, their Soul, and every part is season’d : they make no returns to Love, not because they are hard and insensible, but because they are ungrateful.
This Ingratitude, which is rooted in one’s Heart or Constitution, is, of all the kinds of it, the most opposite to Humanity : for generous Persons may sometimes make off the remembrance of a benefit, to ease themselves of the trouble that some Obligations are apt to give. But Friendship knits, not fetters us together; and without some extraordinary violence to nature, it is impossible to resist its tender engaging Charms.
