Chapter XX: Of The Blessed Man Pachomius
AND there was also another man whose name was Pachomius, who was seventy years old and who dwelt in that mountain which is called Scete; unto him I once went when lustful thoughts concerning women were afflicting me, and when my mind was dark and obscured by the thoughts of lust, and by the visions and heaviness of the nights, and when I was well nigh departing from the desert, for lust laid upon me many things [hard to bear]. Now I did not reveal unto my neighbours and unto the brethren who were living with me my tribulations, and not even unto my master Evagrius; but I went forth and I began to wander about in the desert, and I saw one of the old men who had grown old in the place—now they were all perfect fathers—and after this I saw this blessed old man Pachomius, and I found that he was superior to them all in his life, and deeds, and in his understanding. And I took courage to reveal unto him the strife of my mind, and he spake unto me thus: “Do not imagine that this is a strange matter in any way. This thing hath not happened unto thee through thine own negligence, and the place itself in which thou livest is a witness for thee, for it is restricted in the matter of things of every kind, and there is no woman therein; this lust hath fallen upon thee through [thy] strenuousness. For this warfare of lust and also of fornication is of a threefold [character]; sometimes it setteth our body against us when it is healthy and well fed, and at others lust itself, with the natural passion which is implanted in us [attacketh us], and at others the Evil One himself because of his envy. And I have watched many times, and I have found that it is even as I have said unto thee.” And he said unto me, “I, the old man whom thou seest, have lived in this cell for forty years, and I have taken the utmost care for my life and for the redemption of my soul, and even in this period of great old age, wherein thou seest that I am, I am greatly tormented by lust.”
And he assured me with an oath, saying, “When I was fifty years old lust placed itself [upon] me for twelve years, never going away from me either by day or by night, and I thought in my mind that God had forsaken me, and therefore (for to such an extent had lust gained dominion over me) I determined in my heart that I would either suffer death through dumb beasts, or that I should become a laughing-stock or a man condemned through the lust of the body. And I went forth and wandered round about in the
