Page:Through hell with Hiprah Hunt.djvu/32

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CANTO X.

In this Canto the explorer describes his arrival at the Central Station, accompanied by Satan.

He is met by a vast crowd of the Demon population and a reception committee of distinguished citizens.

After the formality of the reception he is beseiged by delegations from labor unions, secret societies, members of the Fire Department and Golf clubs, autograph fiends, insurance agents, and representatives of the three official newspapers "The Daily Groan," "Hot Times" and "The Yelp."

After the bands have ceased playing and the tumult subsides Satan announces that Mr. Hunt will make a speech.


THE SPEECH OF HIPRAH HUNT.

(From an extra edition of the Daily Groan.)

"Your Majesty, Demons, Fiends and Imps:

"I thank you for this ovation. This, the Hell of my forefathers, with such improvements as you have made, is good enough for me.

"So long as man waxes fat in folly and vice on earth without a worried conscience, the world will need this region and must throttle the voice of the so-called 'wise-man' who says it's a myth. (Flapping of wings and roar of thunder.)

"I stand here on ground trod by the immortal Dante (loud cheers for Dante and flash of green fire), that great Italian who blazed the way for my own coming. To carry on the work of this great man is no easy task; but with the permission of your most Imperial High Ruler and yourselves, I hope to get about and see a few things that will startle millions of people who have ceased to be frightened at the thought of eternal damnation. (Loud reports of bursting thermometers.)

"Doesn't it serve men right who think they can go through life cheating, cursing, liquor-drinking, lying and raising Cain generally to find in the end that it's time to pay up. (A thousand voices: Sure! Give it to 'em; Hunt's all right.) On all the winds of the upper world are borne the croaking of the crows of modern thought. But depend upon it, one voice, the voice of Hiprah Hunt, shall always be raised against them in defence of this great Infernal Empire.

"Again I thank you all, particularly the musicians, for this tribute of esteem."


(Part of the band then strike up the "magic-fire scene," from "Die Walküre," while the rest play "He's a jolly good fellow" in rag time. The crowd cheers lustily and the affair ends with a magnificent display of fireworks.)