The SAC Song (extra lyrics - not used)
words and music by Tom Lehrer
Inspector Generals don't scare me,
'Cause I've got job security,
No sweat -- no need to cry and sob ---
'Cause what kind of nut would want my job?
Let the guys who fly commercial airlines
Get ulcers and receding hairlines.
We stay calm when things are looking black ---
In SAC.
Now if SAC figured me for married life,
They would have issued me a wife!
There's no essential that we ever lack ---
In SAC.
The missile boys were trained to fly,
They know their way around the sky.
After years of training they are found ---
Pushing buttons underground.
When peace and quiet we have found,
That old alert is sure to sound,
And ev'ry time we hear that klaxon,
We say a few words in Anglo-Saxon.
Insider verses:
When some of the guys are home, I know,
Their wives sure keep them on the go.
With walls to paint and lawns to mow --
They count an Alert as CTO.
One AC went out with his date,
And he drank beer till very late.
He passed out on his second quart --
She scored it as a ground abort.
Verse for Delbert Mann:
Those big B-52s, I know,
Sure cost the country lots of dough.
One costs almost as much, I think,
As one week's gross of Touch of Mink.