Song—Judge.
When I, good friends, was called to the bar,
I'd an appetite fresh and hearty,
But I was, as many young barristers are,
An impecunious party.
I'd a swallow-tail coat of a beautiful blue—
A brief which I bought of a booby—
A couple of shirts and a collar or two,
And a ring that looked like a ruby!
Chorus.
A couple of shirts, &c.
Judge.
In Westminster Hall I danced a dance,
Like a semi-despondent fury;
For I thought I never should hit on a chance
Of addressing a British Jury—
But I soon got tired of third-class journeys,
And dinners of bread and water;
So I fell in love with a rich attorney's
Elderly, ugly daughter.
Chorus.
So he fell in love, &c.
Judge.
The rich attorney, he jumped for joy,
And replied to my fond professions:
"You shall reap the reward of your pluck, my boy,
At the Bailey and Middlesex Sessions.
You'll soon get used to her looks," said he,
"And a very nice girl you'll find her!
She may very well pass for forty-three
In the dusk, with a light behind her!"
Chorus.
She may very well, &c.
Judge.
The rich attorney was good as his word:
The briefs came trooping gaily,
And every day my voice was heard
At the Sessions or Ancient Bailey.
All thieves who could my fees afford
Relied on my orations,
And many a burglar I've restored
To his friends and his relations.
Chorus.
And many a burglar, &c.
Judge.
At length I became as rich as the Gurneys—
An incubus then I thought her,
So I threw over that rich attorney's
Elderly, ugly daughter.
The rich attorney my character high
Tried vainly to disparage—
And now, if you please, I'm ready to try
This Breach of Promise of Marriage!
Chorus.
And now, if you please, &c.
Judge.
For now I'm a Judge!
All.
And a good Judge too!
Judge.
Yes, now I'm a Judge!
All.
And a good Judge too!
Judge.
Though all my law be fudge,
Yet I'll never, never budge,
But I'll live and die a Judge.
All.
And a good Judge too!
Judge (pianissimo).
It was managed by a job—
All.
And a good job too!
Judge.
It was managed by a job!
All.
And a good job too!
Judge.
It is patent to the mob,
That my being made a nob
Was effected by a job.
All.
And a good job too!
Enter Counsel for Plaintiff. He takes his place, in front row of Counsels' seats.
Recit.—Counsel.
Swear thou the Jury!
Usher.
Kneel, Jurymen, oh, kneel!
(All the Jury kneel in the Jury-box, and so are hidden from audience.)
Usher.
Oh, will you swear by yonder skies,
Whatever question may arise,
'Twixt rich and poor—'twixt low and high,
That you will well and truly try.
Jury (raising their hands, which alone are visible).
To all of this we make reply,
By the dull slate of yonder sky:
That we will well and truly try.
(All rise with the last note.)
Recit.—Counsel.
Where is the plaintiff?
Let her now be brought.
Recit.—Usher.
Oh, Angelina! Angelina!! Come thou into Court!
Enter the Bridesmaids.
Chorus of Bridesmaids.
Comes the broken flower—
Comes the cheated maid—
Though the tempest lower,
Rain and cloud will fade!
Take, oh maid, these posies:
Though thy beauty rare
Shame the blushing roses—
They are passing fair!
Wear the flowers till they fade;
Happy be thy life, oh maid!
(The Judge, having taken a great fancy to 1st Bridesmaid, sends her a note by Usher, which she reads, kisses rapturously, and places in her bosom.)
Enter Plaintiff.
Solo.—Plaintiff.
O'er the season vernal,
Time may cast a shade;
Sunshine, if eternal,
Makes the roses fade:
Time may do his duty;
Let the thief alone—
Winter hath a beauty,
That is all his own.
Fairest days are sun and shade:
I am no unhappy maid!
