Page:Villette.djvu/255

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248
VILLETTE.

I cried not; I sickened. Had the shape approached me I might have swooned. It receded; I made for the door. How I descended all the stairs I know not. By instinct I shunned the refectory, and shaped my course to madame's sitting-room: I burst in. I said—

"There is something in the grenier: I have been there: I saw something. Go and look at it, all of you!"

I said, "All of you"; for the room seemed to me full of people, though, in truth there were but four present: Madame Beck; her mother, Madame Kint, who was out of health, and now staying with her on a visit, her brother, M. Victor Kint, and another gentleman, who, when I entered the room, was conversing with the old lady, and had his back towards the door.

My mortal fear and faintness must have made me deadly pale. I felt cold and shaking. They all rose in consternation, they surrounded me. I urged them to go to the grenier; the sight of the gentlemen did me good and gave me courage; it seemed as if there were some help and hope with men at hand. I turned to the door, beckoning them to follow. They wanted to stop me; but I said they must come this way; they must see what I had seen—something strange, standing in the middle of the garret. And, now, I remembered my letter, left on the drawers with the light. This precious letter! Flesh or spirit must be defied for its sake. I flew up-stairs, hastening the faster as I knew I was followed: they were obliged to come.

Lo! when I reached the garret-door, all within was dark as a pit: the light was out. Happily, some one, madame, I think, with her usual calm sense, had brought a lamp from the room; speedily, therefore, as they came up, a ray pierced the opaque blackness; there stood the bougie quenched on the drawers; but where was the letter? And I looked for that now, and not for the nun.

"My letter! my letter!" I panted and plained, almost beside myself. I groped on the floor, wringing my hands wildly. Cruel, cruel doom! To have my bit of comfort preternaturally snatched from me ere I had well tasted its virtue!

I don't know what the others were doing; I could not watch them; they asked me questions I did not answer; they ransacked all corners; they prattled about this and that, disar-