And he was before the mirror.
Open your eyes... stare... steadily... open your eyes... nothing can hurt you... it will help... teach you the truth... help you... open broad lanes... to happiness... wipe out the past... the gray past... the punishing past... open your eyes... see the new world... your world... open your eyes....
And he opened his eyes.
His reflection... nothing to worry about... it looked at him... as he looked at it... calm... both calm... as it should be... expressions the same... as they should be... psychiatrist right... as he should be... learned man... wise man... helpful man... good advice... best advise... go ahead... stare at it... staring... pride... strength... new feeling of... of... no! Can't be! Impossible. Psychiatrist said no... learned man... wise man... look again.... NO! Reflection... laughing... silently... utterly impossible... wise man said so... wealth of experience... cant be wrong... good advice... best advice... heed it... heed it... stare at reflection... glare at reflection... don't give up... must win... must win... don't give up... stare... gl—...
And he screamed And he screamed.
He caught himself. Lurched out of the bathroom.
This was no time to give way to disordered, mental stabs. More than evident that his ancient enemy was weakening; employing last hopeless trickery. This was triumph... triumph.
Get a bit of help. Nothing shameful about using all the means at one's disposal to rid one's self of a dying enemy. Nothing to do with one's manliness. The enemy must be destroyed.
That is the only important thing.
Answering the telephone call, the psychiatrist finally arrived. A bit put out because he'd been disturbed at his meal: but cloaking his irritation and impatience with the thought of adding a substantial amount to an already padded bill.
"Look, Doctor ... the mirror."
"What about it?"
"Can't you see?"
"No."
"You can't?"
"All I see is that yon have a reflection... which is as it should be."
"But it reacts differently. That is why I called you..."
"I don't understand."
"Don't you see? It—my enemy—is still there. However, I am not afraid. It is a figment. I know it. You told me so. But it is there... to be destroyed. Isn't that progress?"
The psychiatrist backing up... professionally polite... words... words that have no meaning... professional... backing to the door... understanding...understanding.
"I'm sorry I troubled you, sir. It was nothing. Nothing at all."
"Quite all right, Mr. Swarz. Just take my advice. Don't be afraid... don't be afraid..." and he was gone.
Failure I The psychiatrist had lied. Evident. He had seen it too. Wouldn't admit it. Have to help one's self. The only way... use any means....
Any means.
Out with logic. Forswear what is fallaciously taught. Seek that which can really help. Seek that which is ridiculed
