by asking for an onion, which Homer said was the proper accompaniment of drink. Critobulus prided himself on his beauty, on account of the influence it had over others. Charmides, on his poverty, for he had not half the trouble since he had lost his estates. Antisthenes, on his wealth, for it consisted in having little, but wanting less. Hermogenes, on his friends, because these were the gods who took such care of him, as to intimate by dreams and auguries what he ought to do and what avoid. Socrates, on his skill as a go-between, which consisted in making people acceptable to others, and on a larger scale pleasing to the State. And this he effected by improving their minds. All these different claims and assertions led to various repartees. And, amongst other things, Socrates disputed the pre-eminence in point of beauty with Critobulus. The beauty of anything consisting in its adaptability to its proper function, Socrates argued that his own prominent eyes, which could look to the sides, must be handsomer than those of Critobulus. His broad nostrils, more adapted for smelling, must be handsomer than a delicate nose. His huge mouth, which could contain large morsels, must bear off the palm. A ballot-box was handed round among the guests to decide this rivalry, but every vote, as might be expected, was given in favour of Critobulus.
In the mean time the Syracusan became irritated that the attention of the company had been drawn off from his troupe, and he began to attack Socrates with some quotations from the 'Clouds' of Aristophanes, calling him "the Thinker," and asking him, "How
