Page:Zangwill-King of schnorrers.djvu/342

From Wikisource
Jump to navigation Jump to search
This page needs to be proofread.
328
MATED BY A WAITER
328

328 A DOUBLE-BARRELLED GHOST.

" It must be, indeed, your masterpiece," I cried enthusi- astically. " But why is it called The Learned Pig, and how has it escaped publication?"

" You shall hear. The learned pig is Dr. Johnson. He refused to take wine with me. I afterwards learnt that he had given up strong liqueurs altogether, and I went to see him again, but he received me with epigrams. He is the pivot of my book, all the other characters revolving about him. Naturally, I did not care to publish during his life- time ; not entirely, I admit, out of consideration to his feel- ings, but because foolish admirers had placed him on such a pedestal that he could damn any book he did not relish. I made sure of surviving him, so many and diverse were his distempers ; whereas my manuscript survived me. In the moment of death I strove to tell your grandfather of the hiding-place in which I had bestowed it ; but I could only make signs to which he had not the clue. You can imagine how it has embittered my spirit to have missed the aim of my life and my due niche in the pantheon of letters. In vain I strove to be registered among the ' hidden treasure ' spirits, with the preambulatory privileges pertaining to the class. I was told that to recognise manuscripts under the head of ' treasures ' would be to open a fresh door to abuse, there being few but had scribbled in their time and had a good conceit of their compositions to boot. I could offer no proofs of the value of my work, not even printers' proofs, and even the fact that the manuscript was concealed behind a sliding panel availed not to bring it into the coveted cate- gory. Moreover, not only did I have no other pretext to call on my descendants, but both my son and grandson were too respectable to be willingly connected with letters and too flourishing to be enticed by the prospects of profit. To you, however, this book will prove the avenue to fresh fortune."