Page:Zangwill-King of schnorrers.djvu/74

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60
MATED BY A WAITER
60

60 THE KING OF SCHNORRERS.

"Are you Mr. da Costa?" faltered the humorist.

" Yes, / am Mr. da Costa, but you won't much longer be doorkeeper, if this is the way you treat people who come to see your pieces. Because, forsooth, the man looks poor, you think you can bully him safely — forgive me, Yankele, I am so sorry I did not manage to come here before you, and spare you this insulting treatment ! And as for you, my fine fellow, let me tell you that you make a great mistake in judging from appearances. There are some good friends of mine who could buy up your theatre and you and your miserable little soul at a moment's notice, and to look at them you would think they were cadgers. One of these days — hark you ! — you will kick out a person of quality, and be kicked out yourself."

"I — I'm very sorry, sir."

" Don't say that to me. It is my guest you owe an apol- ogy to. Yes — and, by Heaven! you shall pay it, though he is no plutocrat, but only what he appears. Surely, be- cause I wish to give a treat to a poor man who has, perhaps, never been to the play in his life, I am not bound to send him to the gallery — I can give him a corner in my box il I choose. There is no rule against that, I presume? "

"No, sir, I can't say as there is," said the humorist humbly. " But you will allow, sir, it's rayther unusual."

" Unusual ! Of course, it's unusual. Kindness and con- sideration for the poor are always unusual. The poor are trodden upon at every opportunity, treated like dogs, not men. If I had invited a drunken fop, you'd have met him hat in hand (no, no, you needn't take it off to me now ; it's too late). But a sober, poor man — by gad ! I shall report your incivility to the management, and you'll be lucky if I don't thrash you with this stick into the bargain."

" But 'ow vos I to know, sir? "