Pieces People Ask For/Mary's Lamb on a New Principle
MARY'S LAMB ON A NEW PRINCIPLE.
Mollie had a little ram as black as rubber shoe, and everywhere that Mollie went he emigrated too.
He went with her to church one day; the folks hilarious grew, to see him walk demurely into Deacon Allen's pew.
The worthy deacon quickly let his angry passions rise, and gave it an unchristian kick between the sad brown eyes.
This landed rammy in the aisle; the deacon followed fast, and raised his foot again: alas! that first kick was his last.
For Mr. Sheep walked slowly back, about a rod 'tis said, and ere the deacon could retreat he stood him on his head.
The congregation then arose, and went for that 'ere sheep: several well-directed butts just piled them in a heap.
Then rushed they straightway for the door, with curses long and loud; while rammy struck the hindmost man, and shoved him through the crowd.
The minister had often heard that kindness would subdue the fiercest beast. "Aha!" he said, "I'll try that game on you."
And so he kindly, gently, called, "Come, rammy, rammy, ram; to see the folks abuse you so, I grieved and sorry am."
With kind and gentle words he came from that tall pulpit down, saying, "Rammy, rammy, ram—best sheepy in the town."
The ram quite dropped its humble air, and rose from off his feet; and when the parson landed, he was behind the hindmost seat.
As he shot out the door, and closed it with a slam, he named a California town—I think 'twas "Yuba Dam."