Pleased to Meet You/Chapter 16
One great advantage of stone stairs is that they don't creak. So the Colonel reflected, once more in his brown tweeds, as he cautiously felt his way down the iron hand-rail. He was in stocking feet, groping through the moonlight. He sat on the bottom step to put on his shoes. While doing so he had a sudden fright. The major domo emerged noiselessly from shadow.
"Don't you ever go to bed, Romsteck?"
"I was expecting you, sir. Is there anything I can do?"
"A clean handkerchief, perhaps. I think I caught a little cold in the moat."
"Here you are, sir. Also I've got some dry money for you. I take it that the bills got wet. Wet money seems suspicious, somehow, sir."
"Jove, you think of everything. I dare say you're just rolling in coin."
"Not at all, sir. I took this from Herr Quackenbush's trousers, while he was on the terrace in his nightclothes."
"That won't do. I can't rob the man."
"Certainly not, sir. If you will kindly return the wet ones I'll dry them in the kitchen and put them back in his pocket in the morning."
"You're an excellent fellow, Romsteck," said the Colonel rising. "Well, no loitering."
"Beg pardon, sir, but are you really leaving?"
"Bet your life I am; and pronto; it's one o'clock now."
"Look here, sir, you stay. We'll fix that M.P. somehow. You're just what we need. We could get up a revolution and make you Grand Duke. Begging your pardon, sir, but all the chambermaids were suggesting it."
"Delightful of you, old son. No, that splash in the moat cleared my head. I was getting a bit fantastic. That's my trouble, they say I'm not quite right in my head."
"None of the Grand Dukes ever were. That's why we were all so happy."
"I've got to beat it. You see, Romsteck, I'm not what you suppose."
"No, sir. I never supposed you were."
"You're charming at dialogue, but there isn't much time. Remember I've got to go all the way round through the subway."
"Through the passage?" said Romsteck, startled. "You know about that? But you can't go that way, that's where we've got the M.P. locked up."
"Sure," said the imperturbable Colonel. "He's going with me. You don't think I'm going to leave him behind to poison my memory with the Fräulein, do you?"
"Don't go!" appealed the major domo. "I don't mind, sir, if you are a bit mad. It doesn't matter. It'll do us good. Please, sir, for the good of the country, don't leave us to the mercy of all these perfectly sane officials. The League of Nations will put it all over us without you to take care of things."
"Damn it, man," cried the Colonel in vexation, "you're as mad as I am. Do you suppose I want to go, to leave the nubile Nyla and the 1865 cognac and all the fun? I don't want to make you morbid, but I'm not here from the League of Nations or the Department of Public Safety or anyone else. I'm just on my own, and the game's up. Come, we're wasting time."
"Very good, sir. I was afraid you couldn't be persuaded. I made up a little packet of sandwiches for you, and a flask of the 1865."
Romsteck handed him a parcel from a table in the hall, then lit a candle, and they set off for the cellar.