Political Alphabet
A stands for Ananias,
The politician's patron saint.
B is for Boodle, which
Doth all legislation taint.
C stands for Congress, D.C.,
Where all kinds of laws are invented.
D stands for Democracy,
Whose dupes are somewhat demented.
E stands for Expansion, which
Stands for piracy and plunder.
F stands for Freedom, a word
Mostly used for political thunder.
G stands for Gall and Gab,
The politicians' greatest essentials.
H is a sulphurious place
Where lawyers need no credentials.
I is the personal pronoun
That the candidate uses most.
J's for a four-legged rascal,
Prototype of a political host.
K stands for Kansas State,
Where Mrs. Nation smashes things.
L's for Lying, a habit
Never discouraged by political rings.
M stands for Militia and Muskets
The props that uphold every State.
N stands for National Spirit,
That divides all humanity with hate.
O stands for Oligarchy,
That rules with a scepter of gold.
P stands for People, whose rights
By the political shysters are sold.
Q stands for political Quacks,
Who would cure every ill with a law.
R stands for Republican rule
That's supreme from Maine to the Kaw.
S stands for Stupidity, the same
That fills so completely the dear people's heads.
T stands for Teddy, out onlyest Ted,
Who would so strenuously stamp out all the "Reds".
U is for the Union
A venerated fake.
V is for Violence,
That governments make.
W's for Washington,
Where the lawmakers revel.
Z's for the Zeal
That statesmen serve the devil.