Private Snafu: Rumors
It was a bright sunny day, with the air fresh and clean. Not a rumor was stirring, except—hum—in the latrine.
Hiho Snafu, what's new?
Oh, nothing much. Nice day.
Nice day for a bombing.
Yeah! Nice bombing weather. Mmmh—bombing weather—bombing weather!
Sounds harmless enough—innocent stuff. But let's take a look in, and find out what's cookin'.
Bombing weather—bombing weather—bombing weather—bombing weather—bombing weather—
Just between you and me, pal, I hear we're in for a bombing.
The hot air is blowing, a rumor is growing.
There gonna bomb us—there gonna bomb us—hear about the bombing? Hear about the bombing? They bombed us!
Did you hear about the terrible bombing last night?
Well, I heard it on good authority that the patrollers——
Ballon juice its foaming—but—it makes nice bologna. That's right, exaggerated, stretched, multiplied!
Now shoot off your face!
And bologna is flying all over the place!
The Japs—[…]—the Italians—[…]—and Germany———
We're scary of the war!
Yeah! They blasted hell on Brooklyn Bridge!
Coney Island was wiped out.
What's the matter with our planes? They popped them off like kites.
Ten parachute troops landed right on the White House lawn!
The Florida coast is lousy with invasion barges!
Just a minute, bud. Did you know that we have nothin' to fight with, that our shells are all dudes?
And furthermore the Japs are in California!
Ooohwoooo! wait until yooou see their newww secret weapon!
This may surprise you, but, they're attacking that very camp!
Hahahahaha! You can't go here! You can't get away! Hahahahaha! Hahahahaha! You can't get away! Hahahahaha!
Don't rush yourself! Surrender!
The British are quitting!
Even the Chinese gave up!
It's aaaall over—we've loooost the war.
THIS CAMP HAS
Hahahahaha! Rumors! Hohohohoho! Bllbllbll! Nice weather for a rumor, ain't it? Hahahahaha! Hahahahaha!
This work is in the public domain in the United States because it is a work of the United States federal government (see 17 U.S.C. 105).