Punch/Volume 147/Issue 3813/The Wiser Choice
[A weekly paper points out that letters of proposal should be carefully timed to arrive in the evening, that being the sentimental time of the day when acceptance is most likely.]
Good Sir, your directions are all very fine,
But, when I propose by the pen trick,
I shall look for a temper to tolerate mine,
And mine is distinctly eccentric;
If she, in the morning, is likely to grouse,
If her breakfast demeanour is surly,
There would not be room for us both in the house;
I'm peevish myself when it's early.
So rather I'd have her most critical mood
Prevail at the time of my wooing;
I'd like to be sure that the girl understood
Exactly the thing she was doing.
I feel in my heart it were better for me
To double the risk of rejection,
In order (if haply accepted) to be
A calm and cold-blooded selection.
Let my letter arrive when the day at its start
Provokes a malevolent feeling:
Her answer may puncture a hole in my heart,
But Time is an expert at healing;
And that will be better than learning too late,
At the end of the honeymoon season,
That the lady had only consented to mate
In an hour that was bad for her reason.