Punch/Volume 147/Issue 3817/Reasoning in the Ranks
[Several journals have pointed out that the type of recruit now offering himself is in a high degree capable of reasoning and initiative.]
"Now I want any of you who are puzzled about anything to ask questions about it," said the instructing sergeant-major... and anon:
"Right about, Number 3 of the front rank! There is no such thing as left about turn. Squad, form———"
"Excuse me," interrupted Number 3, "but why do you say that there is no such thing as left about turn?"
"Because there isn't," said the sergeant-major unsympathetically.
"But, my good man," urged Number 3, "there must be. I've just done it. Why, look here!"
He did it again.
"Such a movement is not in the drill-book," said the sergeant-major curtly.
"But," protested Number 3, "you told us yourself only yesterday that very few of the total possible commands are in the drill-book. For instance, there is no provision for lining a railway embankment, often, I understand, a salutary and even vital evolution."
The sergeant-major considered.
"There's no use," he said at last weightily, "'avin two ways of doin' anything when one will do. It is generally considered that right about turn is enough ways to turning about for any one man."
"By all means," admitted the recruit generously, "let us be frugal. Frugality is the mainspring of efficiency. One way of turning about is ample for me. But why right rather than left?"
"Because right's right, and that's all there is to it," said the sergeant-major, who was tiring of the argument.
"Exactly," admitted Number 3, "and left's left, and that leaves us just where we started. Now if the War Office had tossed up and made a general decision in favour of right I could understand the position. But my impression is that this is not so. Thus, if I were to step off with the right foot———"
"Shut your face," said the sergeant-major, "and do what you're told. Squad! A-bout———Turn!"
"Reasoning," observed Number 3, "is lost upon yonder survival of the old school of stereotyped militarism. The hour for initiative has arrived."
And by way of protest he executed a neat left about turn.