Punch/Volume 147/Issue 3830/Essence of Parliament
(Extracted from the Diary of Toby, M.P.)
Mr. Tennant. "Our duty is to drive the invader into the sea."
House of Commons, Monday, 23rd November.—Dull sitting suddenly stirred to excitement by Apparition in Khaki starting up from below Gangway on Ministerial Side. It was Wedgwood (sans Benn). Wanted to know what advice Government are prepared to give civil population as to how they ought to behave in event of German invasion.
"Are they," asked the warlike Wedgwood, "to take it lying down and let the Germans walk over them? or shall they make the best possible stand for their country?"
From above Gangway in neighbourhood of Leif Jones' seat came tremulous voice exclaiming, "Fight!"
Thus encouraged, Parliamentary Secretary to War Office, who day by day grows more martial in figure and manner, pointed out that "the first duty we [meaning the Army] and the Navy have to perform is to prevent invasion. That failing, our duty is to drive the invader into the sea as fast as ever we can."
As to action of civil population emergency committees are being formed in counties where there is danger of invasion, and instructions are being issued by them. What those instructions are Tennant strategically declined to disclose.
After this reassuring statement Consolidated Fund Bill immediately passed second reading.
Later fresh protest, led off by Lord Bob and emphasised by Bonar Law, against arbitrary conduct of Censor in dealing with the Press.
"We ought to stick to this till K. caves in," says the Member for Sark. "The Press Bureau has about it stamp of things 'made in Germany.' Importation of other classes of these goods is prohibited. Let us either get rid of the Press Bureau or have it remodelled on principles of common sense, in accord with public feeling and concern for best interests of the Army."
Business done.—Stout bundle of Bills advanced a stage.
The Solicitor-General knows nothing of seditious Irish newspapers.
House of Lords, Tuesday.—The ways of the Press Censor are past finding out.
He worries the British Press day and night. He stands in the way of recognition of exceptionally gallant deeds on the battlefield by particular men or regiments. He arbitrarily strikes out passages from the letters of War Correspondents who, forbidden to approach the fighting line, laboriously pick up such scraps of information as may filter through its outskirts. He holds over for days, sometimes for weeks, official despatches from the Front, for which the Public are eagerly waiting. Occasionally, by way of exhibiting his desire that not a moment shall be lost in communicating important information, he, about midnight, by preference an hour later, dumps down upon hapless newspapers just going to press the material for whole columns of print.
This conscientiously and painstakingly done, he permits certain journals published in Ireland to circulate seditious garbage designed to stop the flow of recruiting which Carson and John Carson, representatives of contending national parties, have loyally united in encouraging.
In the Commons the other night attention of Solicitor-General, head of this new department, called to notorious matter. Protested that he knew nothing of these Irish papers. General impression in both Houses that it is time he made the acquaintance of the particular organs alluded to and took action accordingly.
Midleton to-night in spirited speech asked what the Government proposed to do? Crewe pleaded that he must have notice of the question. Curzon, ever ready to oblige, promptly undertook to place one on notice-paper.
Business done.—In Commons Budget Bill passed Report stage, Chancellor smoothing the passage by concessions to the brewers and publicans by way of easing burden of additional taxation.
House of Commons, Wednesday.—For some time there has been rumour, generally discredited, that Prince Albert, son of Prince and Princess Christian, had taken active service with the enemy in struggle with whom the best blood of the nation is being daily outpoured. To-day Young asked whether story was true? Premier curtly admitted it.
"Is it considered just and expedient," inquired the Member for Perthshire, amid ominous cheering, "that the British taxpayer should be called upon to pay £6,000 a year for the maintenance of a family which includes this German officer?"
"The Question," replied the Premier, with something less than his accustomed point in dealing with Supplementary Queries, "relates to a particular individual."
House gladly got rid of disagreeable subject. But Sark tells me that, when in due course the pension comes up in Committee of Supply, more will be heard of the matter. Business done.—Several War Emergency Bills advanced a stage.
House of Lords, Thursday.—K. of K. read brief paper on Military Situation in Flanders. In matter of picturesque detail it did not quite come up to pitch of "Eye-Witness's" despatches from the Front, which in the main it resembled. But it was as comforting as it was concise. Summed up in sentence the position to-day of Expeditionary Force: "Reinforcements have replaced our casualties, and the troops under Sir John French, now re-fitted, are in the best of spirits, confident of success under their Leader."
Touched lightly on rout of Germans in Poland with which the world is ringing; but said nothing about capture of Kaiser's cloak. Sark suggests that this interesting robe should be put up for sale to highest bidder (as if it were the First £1 note), proceeds to be contributed to Fund for Relief of Belgians. This would give opportunity for remarking that having taken off his coat to devastate the homes of the Belgians, Wilhelm gave them his cloak also.
Suggestion worth thinking about. Certainly something attractive about it in way of poetic justice.
Business done.—In the Commons Under-Secretary for India gave glowing account of the gallant deeds of Indian troops fighting in three continents.
Friday.—After heartening speeches by Chancellor and First Lord, together going to show that "we 've got the ships, we've got the men, we've got the money too," Parliament adjourned till Tuesday, February 2nd, with promise that, if necessary, it can be specially summoned at any time on six days' notice.