Punch/Volume 147/Issue 3833/The New Reporting
Tonbury v. Haileybridge.
(A Rugby Match reported after the style of the German General Staff. The passages in brackets are the work of a neutral correspondent.)
Our brave Tonburians kicked off against the wind and immediately assumed a strong offensive along the whole line, forcing the enemy to evacuate his positions. When we reached their Twenty-five it became clear, after a furious struggle, that a decision was inevitably about to be postponed on account of the unexpected strength of their defence. (One try to Haileybridge which was converted.)
After some fierce scrummaging in mid-field, in which we had all the best of it, it was found necessary, owing to strategic reasons, for our forces to occupy entirely new positions some thirty yards nearer to our own touch-line. Thereafter there was nothing whatever to report. (Try to Haileybridge.)
When the game was resumed it soon became evident that the situation was developing according to our expectations. (A dropped goal to Haileybridge.)
Fighting continued, but there was no new development to report. (Two tries.)
At half-time the head-master heartily congratulated the Tonbury Fifteen upon the magnificent victories they were gaining against superior forces, and assured them that it would soon be over, and they would all be back in time for tea. He then conferred their caps upon the whole Fifteen and an extra tassel upon the Captain. It is understood that the school-house will be decorated with bunting.
The second half was largely a repetition of the first. We continued to keep up a powerful pressure all along the line, varied only be frequent occupation of new strategic lines, occasional postponements of decision, several stages of development according to anticipation, and some rapid re-grouping of our forces. The whistle found us pressing heavily, just outside the goal-line (the Tonbury one).
(Result: Haileybridge, 43 points; Tonbury, nil.)