Raising the wind, or, Habbie Sympson & his wife baith deid/Raising the wind

by John Andrews

RAISING THE WIND, &c.

I put nae dout bot ye a' heard tell o Habbie Simpson, the Pyper o' Kilbarchan, bot I'm no thinking that ye c'er heard the storie that I am gaun to tell ye about him and his wife Janet. 'Weel, ye see, it sae happenit, that Habbie, like monie mae noo a days was gayan fond o'a wee drap o'the blue, and as the storie gangs, sae wus his wife; sae it aften happened, when Habbie yokit the fuddle, Janet yokit it tae. Noo it's an auld Scotch saying and a true ane buns dune—an' it was sae verified in the present caise, for Habbie waukening ae morning after a heavy fuddle, says to Janet, "Rise, wuman, and see if ye can get me hauf a gill; for oh! ma heid is jist likin to split." Haufa gill!” quo' Janet, “whaar wud I get it, when there's no a plack in a' the house and as for takin' it on, ye ken that's clean out o'the quastion; sae ye maun jist lie still and thole the best way ye can!' "Oh! Janet, cries Habbie, ye're no amiss at scheming; is there næe way ava ye can think o' to raise the win?" "I'll tel you what I'll date, quo? Janet, I'll awa to the Laird o' Johnston, and I'll tell him that ye're deid, and as ye're a great favourite o'his I'm sure I'll get something frae him, to help to burie ye." Od, that I do graun, quo' Habbie, So up gets Janet, and awa to the Laird's house; when rapping the knocker, the door was opened by the leddie, wha seeing Janet sae pitifu' Iukin’, she says “Keep us a’ the day are thaire onie thing wrang at hame, that ye hae come here sae sune in the morning?" “Wrang!” quo’ Janet, (dichtin’ her een wi’ the tail o’ her apron,) “a’s wrang the gither, my leddie; is na oor Habbie deid?’ “Habbie deid!” quo’ the lady in surprise. “A weel a wat, is he," quo’ Janet, “an a sair trial it is to me, leddie, for thaire no as muckle in the house this morning as wowd feid a sparrow; an’ whaur to get onything, I’m sure I dinna ken. Oh deir! oh deir! that ever it should come to this o’t,” Compose yoursel’ Janet,” quo’ the leddie, “and come yer was ben an’ we’s see what can be dune.” Sae in gangs Janet wi’ the leddie, an’gets a basket wi’some biscuits' and speerits, an’uther articles needfu’ for sic an occasion; an’ thanking the leddie for her kindness, comes awa hame to Habbie fu’ blithelie, whan doune they sat; nor did they rise till they made an end to the contents o’ the basket. Noo. as the auld sang sings, the mair ye drink, the drier ye turn, for they were nae sunner dune, than Habhie says, "Losh Janet, that was real guid; can ye no get some mair o’t. “Na, na,” quo’ Janet, “I hae played ma part; it's your turn noo.’’ ‘Oh! very wee’,’ quo’ Habbie, “if it’s my turn noo, ye maun jist be deid next.” “ Od, I Lae nae objections,’ quo’ she; sae’ awa ye gang and let us see what ye can dae.’’ Weel, awa gangs Habbie, and meeting the Laird jist coming hame frae a hunting partie, he says, “this is a fine day, Laird.” “ A fine day, Habbie,” quo’ the Laird: “hoo is a’ wi’ ye? are ye no coming np to play us a spring on the pypes the nicht?" "It wadna leuk verra weel, Laird, for to be seen playing on the pypes at your house, and my ain wife lying deid at hame." "What! is Janet deid?" quo' the Laird. "Atweel is she' quo' Habbie; and I'm sure it couldna hae happent on a waur time, for they're neither meat nor siller in the house ; and hoo to get her decently aneath the yird l'm sure I dinna ken.” “Dinna vex yoursel' about that," quo' the Laird, (giving him some money,) "there is a trifle for you, in the mean time, and come up to the house by and by and I shall see what can be done for you" Habbie thanked the Laird for his kindness, bade him guid day, and cam' awa hame gayen weel pleast wi' what he had gotten, and sent Janet aya wi' the bottle for mair whusky, to carry on the spree. In the mean time, hame gangs the Laird, whan the first thing he heard, was, that Habbie Simpson was deid. Na 'na," quo' he, "its no Habbie; its only Janet.”. 'Its Habbie" quo' the Leddie "wasna Janet heir this morning hersel'. and telt me?—and didna she get awa some speerits and bakes, as she said there was naething in the house?" And didna I meet Habbie, jist as I was comin' hame, when he telt me Janet was deid. Bot I see how it is-they are at their auld tricks again. Bit come, wee'l awa to Habbie's, and see what they are about.” In the meantime Habbie and Janet are fuddlin' awa in fine style, and lauchin' heartily at the way they had raised the winn, when Janet cries "gude preserve, us Habbie, what's to be dune noo: I declare if that's no the Laird and the Leddie; and thaire comin' straicht in here." "I dinna ken quo' Habbie, “what to do, unless, we baith be deid." Sae in the bed they gaed; an they were nae sounner doon, than the Laird and Lady eam in and seeing Habbie and Janet in the bed he says, “waes, me isna that an awfu' sieht to see; the man and the wife baith deed?—bit I wud gie five shillings this moment, for to ken which of the twa deet first." The words were nae sunner oot o' his mouth, than up jumps Habbie, cryin' it was me, Laird, noo gie me the five shillings." It is needless to add, that the Laird gave Habbie the money, and had many a hearty laugh, when he thought on the way which Habbie Simpson and his wife had taken to raise the wind.