Seven popular songs/The steam arm

THE STEAM ARM.

O! wonders sure, will never cease,
While works of art do so increase ;
No matter whether in war or peace,
Men can do whatever they please.

Ri too ral, &c.

A curious tale I will unfold.
To all of you as I was told,
About a soldier stout and bold,
Whose wife, ’tis said, was an arrant scold.

Ri too ral, &c.

At Waterloo he lost an arm,
Which gave him pain and great alarm ;
But he soon got well, and grew quite calm.
For a shilling a-day was a sort of balm.

Ri too ral, &c.

The story goes, on every night,
His wife would bang him left and right ;
So he determin’d out of spite,
To have an arm, cost what it might.

Ri too ral, &c.

He went at once, strange it may seem,
To have one made to work by steam,
For a ray of hope began to gleam,
That force of arms would win her esteem.

Ri too ral, &c.

The limb was finish’d, and fix’d unto
His stump of a shoulder neat and true.
You’d have thought it there by nature grew,
For it stuck to its place as tight as glue.

Ri too ral, &c.

He started home, and knock’d at the door.
His wife her abuse began to make ;
He turn’d a small peg, and before
He’d time to think, she fell on the floor.

Ri too ral, &c.

With policemen soon his room was fill’d.
For every one he nearly kill’d ;
For the soldier’s arm had been so drill’d,
That once in action, it couldn’t be still’d,

Ri too ral, &c.

They took him at length before the mayor,
His arm kept moving all the while there ;
The mayor cried, “ shake your fist if you dare,”
When the steam arm knock’d him out of his chair

Ri too ral, &c.

This raised in court a bit of clamour.
The arm going like on auctioneer’s hammer ;
It fell in weight like a paviour’s rammer,
And many with fear began to stammer,

Ri too ral, &c.

He was lock’d in a cell from doing harm,
To satisfy those who had still a qualm,
When all at once they heard an’ alarm,
Down fell the walls, and out popp’d the arm.

Ri too ral, &c.

He soon escap’d and reach’d his door,
And knock’d by steam raps half a score ;
But as the arm in power grew more and more,
Bricks, mortar and wood, soon strew’d the floor.

Ri too ral, &c.

With eagerness he stepp’d each stair,
Popp’d into the room—his wife was there ;
O, come to my arms, he said my dear,
When his steamer smash’d the crockery ware.

Ri too ral, &c.

He left his house, at length outright,
And wanders now just like a sprite ;
For he can’t get sleep either day or night,
For his arms keep moving with two horse might,

Ri too ral, &c.

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