Spouter's companion/The Old Man, His Son, and Ass

THE OLD MAN, HIS SON, AND ASS.

A country fellow and his son, they tell
In modern fables, had an ass to sell:
For this intent they turn'd it out to play,
And fed so well, that by the destin'd day
They brought the creature into sleek repair,
And drove it gently to a neighb'ring fair.

⁠As they were jogging on, a rural class
Was heard to say, "Look, look there at that ass,
And those two blockheads trudging on each side,
That have not either of 'em sense to ride;
Asses all three," and thus the country folks
On man and boy began to cut their jokes,

⁠Th' old fellow minded nothing what they said,
But every word stuck in the young one's head,
And thus began their comment thereupon:
"Ne'er heed 'em, lad;" "Nay, father, do get on;"
"Not I, indeed;" "Why then, let me, pray;"
"Well, do, and see what prating tongues will say."

⁠The boy was mounted, and they had not got
Much further on, before another knot,
Just as tho ass was passing by, pad, pad,
Cried, "O! that lazy looby of a lad,
How unconcernedly the gaping brute
Lets the poor aged fellow walk a-foot."

⁠Down came the son, on hearing this account,
And begg'd, and pray'd, and made his father mount;
Till a third party on a farther stretch,
"See! see!" exclaim'd, "that old hard-hearted wretch!
How like a justice there he sits, or squire,
Whilo the poor lad keeps wading through the mire."

⁠"Stop," cried the lad, still deeper vex'd in mind,
"Stop, father, stop, let me get on behind;"
This done, they thought they certainly should
please, escape reproaches, and be both at ease;
For having tried each practicable way,
What could be left for jokers now to say?

⁠Still disappointed by succeeding tone;
"Hark ye, you fellow, is that ass your own?
Get off, for shame, or one of you at least;
You both deserve to carry the poor beast,
Ready to drop down upon the road
With such a huge, unconscionable load.

⁠On this they both dismounted, and, some say,
Contriv'd to carry, the remaining way,
The ass between 'em; prints are seen, they add.
The ass supported by the man and lad;
Others omit that fancy in the print,

As overstraining an ingenious hint.

⁠The story that we follow, says, the man
Rubb'd down this ass, and took to his first plan;
Walk'd to the fair and sold him, got his price,
And gave his son this pertinent advice:
"Let talkers talk, stick thou to what is best;
To think of pleasing all is all a jest."