Tales from the Arabic/Story of the Thief and the Woman

by Unknown

STORY OF THE THIEF AND THE WOMAN.

A certain thief was a [cunning] workman and used not to steal aught, till he had spent all that was with him; moreover, he stole not from his neighbours, neither companied with any of the thieves, lest some one should come to know him and his case get wind. On this wise he abode a great while, in flourishing case, and his secret was concealed, till God the Most High decreed that he broke in upon a poor man, deeming that he was rich. When he entered the house, he found nought, whereat he was wroth, and necessity prompted him to wake the man, who was asleep with his wife. So he aroused him and said to him, ‘Show me thy treasure.’

Now he had no treasure; but the thief believed him not and insisted upon him with threats and blows. When he saw that he got no profit of him, he said to him, ‘Swear by the oath of divorce from thy wife^[1] [that thou hast nothing].’ So he swore and his wife said to him, ‘Out on thee! Wilt thou divorce me? Is not the treasure buried in yonder chamber?’ Then she turned to the thief and conjured him to multiply blows upon her husband, till he should deliver to him the treasure, concerning which he had sworn falsely. So he drubbed him grievously, till he carried him to a certain chamber, wherein she signed to him that the treasure was and that he should take it up.

So the thief entered, he and the husband; and when they were both in the chamber, she locked on them the door, which was a stout one, and said to the thief, ‘Out on thee, O fool! Thou hast fallen [into the trap] and now I have but to cry out and the officers of the police will come and take thee and thou wilt lose thy life, O Satan!’ Quoth he, ‘Let me go forth;’ and she said, ‘Thou art a man and I am a woman; and in thy hand is a knife and I am afraid of thee.’ Quoth he, ‘Take the knife from me.’ So she took the knife from him and said to her husband, ‘Art thou a woman and he a man? Mar his nape with beating, even as he did with thee; and if he put out his hand to thee, I will cry out and the police will come and take him and cut him in sunder.’ So the husband said to him, ‘O thousand-horned,^[2] O dog, O traitor, I owe thee a deposit,^[3] for which thou dunnest me.’ And he fell to beating him grievously with a stick of live-oak, whilst he called out to the woman for help and besought her of deliverance; but she said, ‘Abide in thy place till the morning, and thou shalt see wonders.’ And her husband beat him within the chamber, till he [well-nigh] made an end of him and he swooned away.

Then he left beating him and when the thief came to himself, the woman said to her husband, ‘O man, this house is on hire and we owe its owners much money, and we have nought; so how wilt thou do?’ And she went on to bespeak him thus. Quoth the thief, ‘And what is the amount of the rent?’ ‘It will be fourscore dirhems,’ answered the husband; and the thief said, ‘I will pay this for thee and do thou let me go my way.’ Then said the wife, ‘O man, how much do we owe the baker and the greengrocer?’ Quoth the thief, ‘What is the sum of this?’ And the husband said, ‘Sixscore dirhems.’ ‘That makes two hundred dirhems,’ rejoined the other; ‘let me go my way and I will pay them.’ But the wife said, ‘O my dear one, and the girl groweth up and needs must we marry her and equip her and [do] what else is needful.’ So the thief said to the husband, ‘How much dost thou want?’ And he answered, ‘A hundred dirhems, in the way of moderation.’^[4] Quoth the thief, ‘That makes three hundred dirhems.’ And the woman said, ‘O my dear one, when the girl is married, thou wilt need money for winter expenses, charcoal and firewood and other necessaries.’ ‘What wouldst thou have?’ asked the thief; and she said, ‘A hundred dirhems.’ ‘Be it four hundred dirhems,’ rejoined he; and she said, ‘O my dear one and solace of mine eyes, needs must my husband have capital in hand, wherewith he may buy merchandise and open him a shop.’ ‘How much will that be?’ asked he, and she said, ‘A hundred dirhems.’ Quoth the thief, ‘[That makes five hundred dirhems; I will pay it;] but may I be divorced from my wife if all my possessions amount to more than this, and that the savings of twenty years! Let me go my way, so I may deliver them to thee.’ ‘O fool,’ answered she, ‘how shall I let thee go thy way? Give me a right token.’ [So he gave her a token for his wife] and she cried out to her young daughter and said to her, ‘Keep this door.’

Then she charged her husband keep watch over the thief, till she should return, and repairing to his wife, acquainted her with his case and told her that her husband the thief had been taken and had compounded for his release, at the price of seven hundred dirhems, and named to her the token. So she gave her the money and she took it and returned to her house. By this time, the dawn had broken; so she let the thief go his way, and when he went out, she said to him, ‘O my dear one, when shall I see thee come and take the treasure?’ ‘O indebted one,’ answered he, ‘when thou needest other seven hundred dirhems, wherewithal to amend thy case and that of thy children and to discharge thy debts.’ And he went out, hardly believing in his deliverance from her.

Return to King Shah Bekht and His Vizier Er Rehwan.

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1. i.e. say, “May I be [triply] divorced from my wife, if etc.!” By the Muslim law, a divorce three times pronounced is irrevocable, and in case of its appearing that the user of such an oath as the above had sworn falsely, his wife would become divorced by operation of law, without further ceremony. Hence the frequency and binding nature of the oath in question.
2. i.e. thousandfold cuckold.
3. i.e. the blows which the thief had given him.
4. i.e. at least, at the most moderate reckoning.