Tayama Katai and His Novel Entitled Futon/Futon/Chapter 9

by Katai Tayama

IX

After being entertained to supper, the old man returned to his lodgings. Tokio's anguish that night was very great. With thoughts of having been deceived, he could not refrain from getting exasperated. Tokio got angrier as he had tried with sincerity to help Yoshiko's love affair in spite of her having lost her virginity to a young student. In that case--Tokio was no longer required to honor her virginity as she had already given herself to Tanaka. He might as well have gone ahead and obtained satisfaction for his own lust. When Tokio thought along these lines, Yoshiko, whom he had placed on a pedestal, now seemed to him like a streetwalker, and he began to think that not only her body but also her refined manners were distasteful. Suffering with intense agony, he hardly slept that night. Tokio, hands folded on his chest, reflected: He might as well carry out his desires. In any case, she was not what she had been. The way things were, by sending her boy friend back to Kyoto and taking advantage of her weakness, he might have his way with her. Suppose he had stealthily crept upstairs to the room where Yoshiko slept and told her of his helpless love, what might have happened? She might suddenly sit up and admonish him, or she might have screamed and called for help, or she might have sympathized with his passion and sacrificed herself to his desires. But suppose she had agreed to his lust, how would she be able to meet him next morning? She would no doubt be unable to endure meeting him face to face in the clear light of day. She must be sleeping late in the morning without eating breakfast. As these thoughts passed through his mind, he recalled Maupassant's short story The Father. He remembered how keenly he was moved particularly by a scene where a young girl wept bitterly after surrendering to a man's will. On the other hand, another power seized him and fought furiously against his gloomy imaginations. Worry after worry, anguish after anguish, he tossed around in his bed; he heard the sound of the clock striking two, and then three.

Yoshiko too must have been tormented. Her face was pale when she got up in the morning. She had only a bowl of rice for her breakfast. She seemed to be avoiding Tokio's face as much as possible. Yoshiko's anguish seemed to be not so much for having her secret found out as for realizing that she had been wrong in keeping it hidden. In the afternoon she mentioned that she wanted to go out for a short time, but Tokio, who had not gone to work, refused her request. The day passed in this way. No answer was received from Tanaka.

Yoshiko, saying she had lost her appetite, did not eat her lunch or supper. A depressed atmosphere hung over the house. Mrs.Takenaka worried about her husband's bad mood and Yoshiko anxiously pondered what to do about this situation. Just when, judging from yesterday's talks, she had thought that everything was progressing in a satisfactory manner! Mrs. Takenaka went upstairs to persuade Yoshiko to have something to eat feeling that she might be hungry as she had skipped two meals that day. At twilight, in a very gloomy atmosphere, Tokio was drinking saké with a sour face. After a short time, Mrs. Takenaka came down. When Tokio asked her what Yoshiko was doing, she replied she was lying prostrated, face downward, on the desk with a partially finished letter in front of her, not even bothering to light the lamp in the dim room. On hearing the word "letter" Tokio got excited, wondering to whom she was writing a letter, and went noisily upstairs intending to state that it was a waste of time for her to write such a letter.

"Oh, please...." He heard her pleading voice. Yoshiko still had her face resting on the desk.

"Sensei, please leave me alone for a little while. I'm going to tell you something in my letter...."

Tokio returned downstairs. Sometime later, the maid went upstairs to light the lamps as asked by Mrs. Takenaka. When the maid came down, she brought a letter from Yoshiko, which she handed to Tokio.

Tokio avidly read the letter.

Dear Sensei:

I am a depraved girl student. Taking advantage of your kindness, I deceived you. I am convinced that my apologies would be very inadequate for so great a sin. Sensei, please take pity and regard me as a very weak-minded individual. I failed to carry out the duties of the new women of the Meiji era of which you taught me. I am, after all, an old-fashioned woman, and did not have the courage to put the new ideas into practice. I have talked this matter over with Tanaka, and we decided that we would not reveal, under any circumstances, our secret to any other person. We promised that we would, from now on, keep company only in a spiritual way since what had been done could not be undone. However, when I come to think that your anguish is my fault, my conscience makes me restless, and I have worried all day over this. Please, Sensei, have mercy on this pitiful woman. I have no other choice but to rely on your mercy.

Respectfully yours,

Respectfully yours,Yoshiko

Now Tokio really felt as if his body would sink into the depths of the earth. Holding her letter, he sprang up. In his enraged heart there was no room for understanding the reason for Yoshiko's daring to make this confession--her attitude of completely baring her heart and leaning on him. Stamping noisily Tokio went upstairs and sat down alongside Yoshiko's desk, where she still hid her face and said.

"Once things have gone so far, there is no more hope. I can't help you any more. I return this letter to you and swear to keep this matter secret. In any case, your attitude of trusting me as your mentor is nothing to be ashamed of in a modern Japanese woman. However, seeing that things have gone so far, you ought to go home. Tonight--now, let's go immediately to your father's lodgings. It would be best to tell him everything, and arrange to return home right away."

As soon as they had finished supper, they got ready and left the house. Although various kinds of dissatisfaction, complaints, and grief filled Yoshiko's heart, she could not disobey her mentor's stern order. They took a streetcar from Ichigaya. They found seats along side each other, but did not exchange a word. Getting off at Yamashitamon, they went to the inn in Kyōbashi; fortunately her father was at the inn. After they explained the whole story in detail her father did not appear to be particularly angry. It seemed that he only wanted to evade as much as possible from returning to his home with Yoshiko, but there would be no choice except to do just that. Yoshiko neither laughed nor cried, but only appeared to be taken aback by the irony of fate. Tokio assumed she would be disowned and asked Mr. Yokoyama if he would entrust Yoshiko to his care. Mr. Yokoyama replied as far as he was concerned if Yoshiko of her own will gave up her parents it would be a different matter, but he would not permit it under normal conditions. Besides, Yoshiko was not yet determined to refuse to return home at the risk of deserting her parents. Tokio left Yoshiko in the care of her father and went home.