Terræ-filius: or, the Secret History of the University of Oxford/Terræ Filius No. V
Terræ-Filius. No. V.
Σκληρόν σοι προς κέντρα λακτίζειν.
Saturday, January 28.
I Find that the reverend Dons in Oxford are already alarm'd at my appearance in publick, as may be seen by the following letter, which no body there can doubt to be genuine, when he reads the particulars it contains. w Terra-Filius. "t;ne buildings at .alii-Souls and Chrifi-Ohu?�h col. ,' lefts, tho' long at a ?and, were now like to go "o?i that contri.bufions came in apace l that ea? "day brought w:th it its benera&ion; and there- ,' fore, the ma? 0/7 God doubted not but that very "loon oxford ?vould be j?ught tear, wen i? Oxford. "In this, and in th!s only I agreed with his Cor?a- "leney, our preaching advocate. "It is expe&ed here, that you will vindicat? "your?lf againR this gro/i, foam. ing divine, whole ,' name I need not mention; it ?s fufficient to tell "you that he is a grave * H�,?t? of a college. if ,' you do your felfjultice in this, you {hall ha?e "more intelligence from ' .Where is not a wore! in the ?oelifts language, which bas more envy and ill-will attending it, than Reformation: it has indeed a terrible found, and ?ons much uneafine/i and ill humour in the minds -. o5 my loving countrymen and fellow-fubjeCts. Re. formatica neceffarily implies corruption.and moll pe6- pie are as loath to 'hear of tl,eir own faults, as they ?te willing to difcover tho�e ol; others. I never card .of any Re.?rmation either in church or date, ubliek or rivate, but what was ttrenuoufly o po- P p . P {id by thole, whom it a?.&ed molt, with popular d:mour, and unjutt infinuauons. A madman never thinks himfell mad; and a l?e:vgate bird can't abide to hear of the Se?ons. The bed: men, and .the belt things in the world, have, moil of them, rocknames fix'd upon them, to
� Terr-Fitim', v, render them odious or ridiculous to the'common ?a?; which a ertain et o entlemen whom love ancl honour, have a deve? knack at doing: the]/ can ?frly explain liberty into licentioufnefi, mercy into fear, juttice into cruelty, wiflom into chance, and chance into wifdom. In the fame manner �orm?tion bei_? ?n h?rmlefs, unexceptionable word ?)-F?:elt; they ?ve chmg_ed it in.to.i.noth?, which c?rries a very bad found ?ong w?th it, l N Nov By this rehgious fright of hand, they haw per. (ua&d many ignorant ix?le out of their fenres, made them believe that to reform is to .aemotifi, ? that to redrexq grievances is to commit ?'tevances; aucl that to punifh offen&xs is to o?pms the inn0. cema'he eentlemen of the univerfities have �ucceede3 wonder?ully, by the help oF th? lege,.?.rn.ain, _u?on the weakneff and ignot. ance ot mankma. 'l'ney have perfuadcd the mulumde, that a or mentary zi[�tation of' the univerlitie? w? prove the �- - �' ' ii cermn and total exttqrauon of learning and rd g- on. - And oh! that it were the multit#de that they have thus perfuaded ! To fuppo. rt this delufio. n, ?.ey keep their ,:,?,?, aecl o?evances to themielves .as much as they ?an""i �r ?-?g corruptions and grievances, of which themfdves are the authors, they axe fo rnod? not to &fire any redre? or remedy: they think an ill bird which befouh his own nejt, _and there.fore tenderl hufh u their ownfcandalous ra6hces, the y P P . andYbrand all complaints and informations a.g?nft them, with the infamous name of difobedienc�, undutifulnefi, and ingratitude,, ?. to their alma This trick, as fhallow as it is, has kept man)i I!oneft gentlemen From difco.veting wtrat they cout ?ot heF? coMemr/me in 'their hearts: they will not r - them.
� v. Terrte. Fi!iu. themfe!ves l:e oonfpirators in fraud; neither will they in orra ainft their brethren, which the thinig difi?onourable and fcandalous: all men dare not com- bat with a!umny and ill ufigei all men are Werra-FdlusS. You ?e, reader, that I had no ?ooner undermke? this task, but.l railed a ne? of holy ?0 and hor- nets about my ?rs? an huge old drone, grown an exee?ve bulk upon the fpoi!? o? many year?, has thought fit, you ?e, to ?tI me t?r?i?le begore his learned audience, at st M?ry', church Oxvouu. it is, it feems, an HE?L?sM A?rZMPT endsyour to bring about a reformation o? the verfities; and ir is DAR?O and ImvlOU? in ?e tO fide ray, If a FRtE-Tm?ER and a FREE-SP?AKER: poor man? poor man? What, art a?aid ! ?ould tell talcs out of fchool, how a certain fat do?or got be3-maker with child, and plaid ?veral other un- lucky pranks? That would be D?Rx? and indeed. No, no, never tier rhy l?lg mani I love a ?retff ?omm? myfelh and I never &fire any better ulige in the world, than as I do unto others, to do?te unto m?felf. 8o? erat in z'otis. Howeve(, the next time you mount the pulpie aforefiid, what, if among? all the ?ying fins this wicked age, you fl?ould men,?on and adulter, and give them a entle rebuke, or Never f?r, the women wall t[mk neer the fo worfo of you? they know you are ?ldom in earne? there: betides, you know, ?ople wili be apt to guefs at twenty fooli? reafons why tho).tm tra? gre?om, in Drticu?r, are le? out of'the 1ogue. , ? - Now will I be judg'd by the borld, whether Ouch ? ?iend as I have proCd myfelf to be to this pi? do&or, dearyes, in return for all his feevice:i: fuch unkind ufige and fcurvy ap?llations as I met with f?om him i but rome m? ? the
� won't fhew you common good manners, u�e theta .never fo civiliy: ! proreit, I have a vail ref?�? for all the reverend t?ead? and governors of colleges hai?s in both univerfities? and I am refolv'd, it illall not be my fault, ifr there is any mi[uruterflanding be. I am glad, with all my hear?, to hear that the new buildings at �hri.#-Church and ?11-$ouls col- leges go on again, and that contributions come in apace, as mention'd by the do&ori but I would not have them fet their minds too much upon ne?, qua. drangles, and empty libraries, and i?acious halls, and coftly chapels, and painted windows, and marble ?'lltar-pieces? and large cellars, and fine gardens, and flable,, and co,,cl?-houp,, and p, mmer-houp,, &c. fly, do&or, I would not have them fpend all their time in contriving and gaping at there things; but ?et apart, at leaR, one day in a quarter of a year, the lot ttudies of phiIofophy and religion. 1'11 affure you, I have heard rome bitter men, friends to the univerfity, obferve That, of late years, ?iences and arts hax e dedin'd in Ox?rd, in propor- tion as their fineries have increa?d. Nay, I myt?lq, when I fee a fellow mightily be- �patte?'d with lace and embroidery, am very apt to fufpe? his infide, and fly to myfelf, I warrant you, that fellow there has room enough in his nod- rile. But how, will you fay, can I compare the fa- mous uuive?fity of Oxvo?n to a ridiculous Londo?: Fop? I will conclude this paper, which i write in vi'.;- tlication of relyfell againt? the afpe?fions or' my ene. mies, with telling you a merry f?ory,?and a very When I had publifh'd my two firf? papers, I ?unter'd about town, like o, her half-fl?eet au:hor? from one coffee-houfe to another, and mingled my- fell in all the/r ca?, to hear what wa? hid of my .. lucubrations.
� lucubrations. I will not here give an account o� what various turns of mortification and plealure I we.nt through upon this occafion? but will only ac- quaint my reader with one paf?ge: going into a certain famous coffhe-hou? not t?r t,'om Temple- Bar, I law a chfter of' gentlemen talking together? as loon as I got amongft them. one of them ask'd whether they had ?en the new paper, call'd T err,?- Filius ? To which an eminent 0 x v o R r? profeffor, who was prd?nt, anfwer'd, that he had, and could ?ffure them, upon his aflronom/�al word and ?our, that there was nothing in it, but lies, and impudence, and �currility ? 0 x v o ?t r?, laid he, is a learned and blaretie/3 fociety. What, fiid another gentleman, ate there no abu�es, Sir, no corru?tion?, no frauds, no debauchery, no difloyalty, no perjury', nothing of this nature in Oxford? None, at all, re- plied the learned prolixflor. No, faid the gentleman again ? not in M E a ? o ? college, Sir ? Hum ! why, indeed, quoth hk profeffor?ip upon this, yes, really, I have heard of firange doings there. And ought nor, faid the gentleman, thoii: flrange doings to be correc"kd? Sir, fiid the profeffor, we have nothing to fay to Merton college; we don't look upon it any part of the univerlity ? they are all rank
- ?anc?cs, $zr, and �o brufla d off ,n a pailion.
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